July 5, 2021

2 important character traits I'm trying to develop.

2 important character traits I'm trying to develop.

We inherit most of our qualities, habits and tendencies from the people around us. But sometimes, certain character traits slip through the cracks. On today's episode, I talk about two (2) human qualities I'm personally trying to develop, and how I plan on getting there.

What character traits do YOU want to incorporate into your life? Let me know!

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts, or telling a friend about it. You can also follow me @troy_farkas on Instagram and TikTok.

peace and love.


Good morning, everyone. Welcome into another episode of The Troy Farkas Show, a podcast that is not about me. It's about all of us. The twenties are a crucial time in our lives. And on this show, we navigate the highs and lows for early adulthood together. Happy July 4th weekend, talking to you here on Monday.

Yesterday was July 4th. The day that we celebrate. America's birthday, July 4th, 1776 as a history buff. This is always a special time of year for me to look back on the crazy journey of the founding of this country, which if you are from the Northeast, like I am like most of the listeners are, this is kind of the birth place of where it all is.

The battle of Saratoga is the turning point in the American revolution. When became like, oh crap, the Americans can actually beat the big, bad British and take this thing off. And eventually form a new country, which of course had it had, uh, many issues along the way, stops and starts. But 245 years later, we're doing it.

We're here. America is still alive. Thriving. A lot of you might not think we're thriving, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm always talking about putting things into perspective. America is still the greatest country in the world. Yes, we have our flaws be absolutely have our problems, things that we need to work on, things that we need to reckon with and cope with and learn from.

There are so many worst places that you could be in the world right now. So just a great day every year to remind ourselves how lucky we are to live in this country, because it, it is truly, um, an honor that a lot of us take for granted. Growing up in this country where we have so many freedoms and liberties that all the people just do not have.

I mean, I wouldn't be able to have a podcast and many other countries. I can freely speak my mind on this thing. Not that I'm out here saying anything controversial, not that I like care about anything enough to speak controversially about it, but if I were so inclined to, I can necessarily do that in other parts of the world.

So super grateful here too. That I can talk to you all here on The Troy Farkas Show. So I hope you guys all had great July 4th. I certainly had a solid little weekend, nothing crazy, but, um, on Sunday on July 4th, did the firecracker for a four mile race in downtown Saratoga, which is a tradition that I've been doing on and off since 2013, I've done it five or six times at this point.

And I think this was the best time, time that I ran it in. And this is very impressive for me because. I've done this race at different times. Like when I was an, actually an athlete, a when I was playing basketball. And so I got, uh, a time. Per mile was about six 50 a mile, which is something that I was super pumped about.

I was, you know, I didn't train enough or I didn't really train that much for this. Like I, I'm not a runner. I don't really enjoy running. I get the itch to run every other week. So maybe over the past month just started running once a week. And again, always like two, three miles, nothing crazy. Cause I just don't like running.

And so my approach to exercise is just do what you like to do and vary it up. That works for me. That might not work for you guys, but for me. In order to keep exercising. I have to vary it up as much as possible. So I don't run it. I don't do long distance running because to get really good at long distance running, you have to do it over and over and over again.

So for miles, it was kind of like a perfect distance for me to do a race because at that point I can just kind of go all out. So, I mean, by the end of the thing, I am really, really tired, um, because I like to finish hard. And so I, I sprint across the finish line. Finished 154th place out of, I think, just over 2000 registered runners.

So that was. Uh, really exciting. I was really, really proud of that. And hopefully I can do even better next year for when I make it back. And, um, so that was, that was what I did yesterday and then fireworks and parades and all that good stuff from that couple of Willie super bruise. My new go-to hard seltzer Saturday, I walked around downtown Toga, got coffee with the, with the Hennigans.

That was so much fun. I love just learning from older people and learning about regrets that they might have so that I don't. Um, you know, make mistakes in my future. I like learning from older people for as much as I criticize older people on this show about how sometimes they can be out of touch and stuck in their ways they are, are also just full of great wisdom and experience that I cannot replicate.

So I do love just learning from people who are older than me who have been through it. Although it may have been in different times, different areas of the world. I do take much pride in talking and learning from older people because they ultimately do know more than I do. So that was really good. And something that I would stress all of you to do, to read, to learn, to listen, to watch older people, because they have been through it.

They do have great years of experience and wisdom to, uh, give you, so that is that, um, I hope you all had a great July 4th weekend again, and that you were able to be with loved ones and have good barbecue and, uh, have some good drinks and be outside and be on the water. A lot of you have boats that saw you guys out there living your best lives out on the water.

Absolutely loved that for you. Keep it up. Hope you're happy. Uh, there's there's a new post couple of days old over on TheTroyFarkasShow.com Uh, I'm not going to read it to you, but it is tight. Two traits that I'm working on basically two character traits that I want to embody that I'm working on.

It's over on the website, again, TheTroyFarkasShow.com I will not read it to you, but I do want to talk about it. And these two traits that I am working on. So I am very grateful that there are a lot of just inherent character traits, human being qualities that I have that have. Given to me that I have not had to work for that.

I inherited whether it's from my parents, teachers, coaches, friends, girlfriends, whatever it is. A lot of who I am is other people. We are a mixture of the, what is it? Six or seven people closest to us in our lives. And so I, what I am right now is a mixture of mom, dad, my brother, my. Two high school, basketball coaches, my male social studies teacher in middle school.

That was very influential on my life. I am, um, different people that I've worked with. I am people that I have met with. I am people that I have dated. I am my best friends. I am my best friend's parents. There are so many people in my life that make up who I am. And conversely, there are so many people in your.

Who make up who all of you are. And so we are just bits and pieces of all of the people that we learned from, and that we associate ourselves with. And that is why I talk so frequently. Making sure that you surround yourselves with the right types of people, because it is those types of people that ultimately make us who we are.

So it is so paramount to surround yourself with people that you want to emulate, that inspire you, that motivate you, that make you a better person that make you laugh, that make that make you think they make you cry. That's why I talk about it so much. And so I am very mindful of all of these things.

Character traits that I have inherited from other people, whether that is curiosity, whether that is a love for nature, whether that is gratitude, um, work ethic. That is certainly something that has been inculcated into me from various people throughout my life. A love for learning, a love for reading, for writing.

For coffee for, uh, healthy eating and exercise. All of these things have been passed down to me. I didn't necessarily inherently develop them myself, but there are two specific traits. That I do not have that. No one has really passed down to me that I have not gained from anyone around me, the two traits being patients and accountability.

I want to start with the first one. And this is something that I think is really devoid among all of us among me. Among all of us, the young people, especially today, and even the generation kind of below me, I don't even know what generation I'm in these days. Am I a millennial and my gen Z and my gen X, like, I don't even know, but I know that my generation and the one that is just coming up after us, we are super entitled.

Like that is what we are known for. And every generation that is older than us always criticizes the younger generation say, and they say, oh, like, they're not as good at us as this each pro. Each generation kind of always criticizes the ones before it and one after it, because each generation always thinks that like, they've got to figure it out.

They're living the right way. Obviously this is not true. Each one has its own strengths and own weaknesses. And our weakness is that we're super entitled. We have been brought up in this era of the online world where maybe me and you grew up buying things on eBay and then Amazon. And now Amazon runs our lives and grub hub and stub hub, and all these things, any good product service that we want, we can get it delivered to our doorstep overnight.

We can get it to our phones immediately. We can get it on an app, whatever it is that we want. If it's a food, a. A clothing item, a service, we can get it done. Snap of fingers, the touch of a button, just a quick phone call, whatever it is, we can make it happen because of that. We are super impatient when we get into the workforce.

And I know specifically in my industry, um, I've worked with someone in the past who. It was like, okay, I'm here. I just got out of college and I've been here for a year. Why am I not on air yet? And in reality, that's just not how it works. Unless you are other worldly, talented person that is a can't miss LeBron James type style prospect.

You know, this person's going to be the greatest to ever do it type of prospect and a profession. You don't have that on air role immediately. That is something. You work up to four years through reps, through connections, through just reps, reps, reps, and grinding, and late nights and weekends and early mornings and all that good stuff.

Nothing is handed to you. Very rarely are things handed to you unless you've got a lot of money, status connections, very rarely things are handed to you. And so right now we all think that we are deserving of everything that we sh that whatever we want, we can get it. Now we can get it instantly. That's not how it works in reality.

That is not how it works. And so we already super impatient generation and I am undoubtedly a victim of this. Um, maybe not as much in terms of like, uh, physical possession or whatever it is, but I certainly struggle with, I want things to happen for me quickly. When I was considering leaving ESPN last November, December, it was taking a while to find a job at a company.

And so maybe two or three months I was trying and trying and trying and trying, and I wasn't getting anything. Is that a product of, okay, it's the holiday season? Is it the product of the media industry was hurt really badly by the pandemic. All of those are very possible. I don't know the truth. Maybe I just wasn't good enough candidate.

And that was hard for me to come to grips with. And so I just basically said, you know what, screw this. I'm done. Trying to find a job at a big company like D traditional method tells you to, I'm going to go do my own thing. I'm going to be my own boss. Hire myself. Whatever it is advocate for myself rather than wait for someone to tell me what my future is.

I go out and find it. So I was impatient, but you know, teach their own, right. So this is something that I'm trying to work on. There's things that I'm working toward right now in my professional life, in my personal life that I want to make happen. So now I'm just kind of playing a timing game. Should I try to strike next?

Because I could fail. It is likely that I do fail. If I do strike now that I might not get what I want. And then I cost myself in the long run. It's better. In most cases, it's better to wait to be patient, to tell yourself I don't need this right now. I'm good. I'm good with Ron, Matt. I'm good. Financially.

I'm good. Workload wise, whatever it is. I don't need this right now. When I am ready for it, it will find me when I am ready for it. So I am every day needing to stress to myself that I must be patient, that everything does not happen overnight. That good things happen to those who wait. Right? So you use the old cliche.

Patience is a virtue as degrade Chinese thinker Confucius once said. So what is something that I'm actively working out every day? Because it goes against everything that you and I are being taught right now, because we are being taught that everything can happen for us. Overnight, instantly Tik TOK videos.

Now you make a tick top video, your first TikTok video with no experience, no anything. It can go viral. We live in this viral nature where we can become big overnight. And it is very counter-intuitive now among our generation to wait for things. And so I am trying every day to impress upon myself and people around me, like just be patient.

It will work out when it's supposed to. So that's the first thing that I'm working on. The second one is accountability, which is also something that runs counterintuitive to what we have just always been taught. I mean, and I said this in the article, remember when you're in second grade and you're spatting with your classmate and it's like, oh, he hit me.

Oh, she bit me. Oh, she started at first. Oh, he threw the food first, even though in our adult lives in our early adulthood lives. We're not stooping to that level. Of course we still do very much. Point the finger at other people before we look inward and do it ourselves. I mean, when I first, uh, got to ESPN, I had, um, a mentor, someone who's high up at the company who said to me something to the effect of everyone likes to point fingers at other people, but they never turned the.

The pointer finger back at their chest, essentially, no one ever wants to take the blame themselves. Um, and it's, it's absolutely true. And I certainly saw that. Cause I mean, in my job, in the media, especially like when you're on air and something goes wrong on air, there is usually a direct finger to point at.

Missed high in something, someone didn't press a button and someone was asleep at the wheel, something wrong happened, and you can immediately tell who did it. And then everyone gangs up on that person. And then the person who was at fault. Oh, yeah, like, yeah, I messed up, but it was because this person did this wrong and then this person did this wrong, or this person didn't tell me I was supposed to do this in this moment.

So it's just this constant cycle of this blame game and of not owning up to your mistakes. The truth of the matter is, as I realized again, this is another thing that you have to just actively work at because it is our natural tendency to defend ourselves against criticism and to defend our honor. And.

Uh, talk back when people get in our faces about a mistake that we make, because we never want to believe that we could have possibly done something wrong. Right? So this is something that I have to actively work against. And I have found that when I have taken accountability, when I was in this situations and did say, you know what, I messed up when I messed up on a radio show on a podcast, whatever it is and have said, I messed up.

And then I try to go fix it. The people who I've screwed over it because of my mistakes. Ultimately come back to you with respect and say, you know what, thank you for owning up to. Learn from this, we'll get past it and move from there. If you own up to your mistakes and be accountable, the people that you wrong in the process will respect you more for it than if you don't.

Then if you point fingers and cast blame. So this is something that I am really trying to work out because now in the self-employed world, I'm living. I can't really point my fingers at anyone else. There's not a person to my left and a person to my right, and a person over email that I can blame. Cause it is all on me.

This is this little self-employed business that I have running. If there's a mistake on one of the podcasts, new singer, one of the videos that I'm producing for these people, it's on me. It is ultimately on me 1000%. It is on me. So I need that. Look inward, hopefully. I mean, obviously first of all, let me say this.

Don't try to make mistakes. I don't try to make mistakes. And I'm very meticulous in what I do so that I don't make mistakes because no one wants to make them or be put in a situation where you have to take accountability for it. So let me first say that, but if, when I do make a mistake, I have to take accountability for it and say my bad, it won't happen again.

And learn from it and learn from it and learn from it. I remember doing a podcast a couple of months ago where I said, embrace mistakes and learn from them. And yeah. I don't believe in trying to make mistakes. Of course that's dumb. No one wants to do that. But when you do make them, mistakes are an incredible learning opportunity for you to do better and be better.

So that is something that I urge all of you to do going forward is to be accountable. And when you do make mistakes, learn from them and don't make them happen again, because if you make the same mistake twice, it shows that you have not learned from them, which means that you. Not only wasted the opportunity to learn from it, but you have now made that same mistake again.

So that is just kind of my, uh, input on all of that. Those are two character traits that I'm trying to work on. If you want to read it in, in written form over on the Trey Parker show.com or you can also. The full archive of podcasts of blogs, uh, YouTube videos, all the social media information is over there.

It's a really fun site that, uh, that I enjoy bringing to you all. So if you want to like, make it your homepage on your phone or whatever, that'd be cool. I've got a fun conversation coming up later this week with an old friend recording it's night. So that should. Go over. Well, keeping my fingers crossed that it happens.

You never know what these things, but hopefully it happens. We'll have that to you guys later this week is second episode. Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts. I'm sorry. There may have been some issues over the last couple of months. Um, apple podcasts I found out has been having some issues cause they like redid their app.

And so it created some issues for some podcasts was whether our episodes weren't available and. Uh, on my phone personally, I didn't have that issue, but maybe some of you guys did. So I'm apologizing for that based say that that bug is fixed now, but regardless I would strongly urge you all to just go listen to Spotify because Spotify is just a better product.

Honestly. I think it's more navigable. I think it's better looking and I think it has way fewer options. If you want to listen to the podcast, like I'll lean way more into the Spotify side of things, because I really, really trust them apple. I'm not sure as much, but, uh, that just super inside podcast nerd stuff for me, that's enough for me.

I hope you all have a great week that you get outside, that you, uh, got a good little rest on this holiday weekend that you get back at it that you, um, are nice, that you don't make mistakes, that you'd be patient for whatever it is that you want. Spend some time alone, ask yourself what it is that you want.

How you can get there and what character traits you need to embody in order to get there. That's my advice. I'll talk to you again later this week. Have a good one.