May 17, 2021

5 things I've learned about myself in Colorado.

5 things I've learned about myself in Colorado.

On my last day in Colorado, I share five lessons I've learned about myself and the world (11:34). But before that, I read an essay explaining why making mistakes as a young person is actually a really good thing.

To read the five lessons, check out TheTroyFarkasShow.com first thing in the morning tomorrow.

If you liked today's show, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or on our website.

We've got a big few weeks ahead, so feel free to follow @thetroyfarkasshow on Instagram and TikTok for all the latest show-related information.

Today's essay:

No one wants to make mistakes.

We don’t intentionally mess up on the job, make a wrong turn, or go on a date with that weird guy from Hinge.

But for all of us, especially young people, mistakes can create invaluable learning experiences.

Take advantage of them.

The Stoics lived by a saying, “amor fati,” or, “love of fate.”

This means that when we make a mistake, or if something bad happens to us, we shouldn’t feel sorry for ourselves or cast blame.

Instead, the Stoics would argue, if we shift our perception, we can turn those obstacles into opportunities. If we “love” and become grateful for that misfortune, we then can focus on learning from it rather than getting upset by it.

So the next time you regret an Amazon purchase, don’t hate yourself over it. Try taking a step back and saying to yourself, “You know what? I’m glad this happened. In fact, I love that this happened.”

By changing your viewpoint, maybe you’ll understand you don’t need as much as you think. Or you’ll realize you can’t spend your way to happiness, and that no amount of cool stuff will ever fill the voids in your life.

We don’t have enough life experience yet to do everything right, so mistakes are inevitable.

Embrace them.

Own up to them.

Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up. No one expects you to have this all figured out now.

And the best part? The stakes are low. In 10 years, that might not be the case.

Right now, mistakes are the best thing that can happen to you.

If you view them correctly, the next time you’re faced with a similar situation, you’ll do better, and be better, for it.

Fall in love with your mistakes.

peace and love.

Transcript

Good morning, everyone. And welcome in to another episode of The Troy Farkas Show Podcastthat is not about me. It's about all of us. The twenties are a crucial time in our lives. And on this show, we navigate the highs and lows of early adulthood. Together. Thank you for joining me again. I hope you all had a great weekends that you got outside.

Did some fun stuff, new activities. You went to the museum, you checked out some street art, you went to a food truck. You got together with friends. You read, you wrote, you were with family, whatever it is. I hope that it was tremendous. I hope that's okay. You, uh, were able to unwind from all the stresses of daily life, all the expectations that other people put on us.

And more importantly, the ones that we put on ourselves, I had a good weekend. I don't know. Have any of you ever heard of Crumbl cookies? I think it's a chain, but I had never heard of it. And I don't know if it's a nation thing. Maybe it's a regional thing, but I went to Crumbl cookies on Friday night because it's right next to the gym.

And right next to the grocery store, I go to shout out to sprouts and I've been seeing people for months just rotating in and out of Crumbl cookies. C R U M B L. And I went inside and I just wanted to get off my chest and to see what all the fuss was about. What they do is they have over a hundred different types of cookies, but each week they rotate five or six, so they only display five or six that you can have each week.

And so this particular week, when I went inside, there were a couple of ones that looked really good, but the one that I chose was the waffle cookie. It's a cookie, but tastes like a waffle and they give you maple syrup with it and a little cream on top. And you drizzled the maple syrup over and Oh my goodness.

It was the best cookie I've ever had. You probably can't have more than one. It's a little rich, but it was so good. So if any of you ever come across a crumble cookies, it's so good and it's better than insomnia cookies. I know a lot of you in your college towns probably had insomnia nearby. It kicks insomnia's ass.

So if you ever find crumble cookies, I do suggest you go to it Saturday, rode around the city, watch the UFC fights and, uh, just kind of took in the city for the last time. I don't know if I'll be back. I'm actually leaving today, going to Arizona for a couple of weeks. My dad is out there. And so I'm going to go hang out with him and see a different part of the country.

I've got a friend there that I'm also going to spend a good amount of time with. It's going to go on some hikes, going to do some more things. Cross off my bucket list, the travel journey. Continues for me. I don't know if I'll be back in Colorado that remains to be seen. As many of you you've heard, I'm still kind of wrestling with what I want to do, but I'm just pretending that it's true.

That I won't be back. So just kind of taking everything in for the last time. Of course, we'll see what happens, but I'm going to give you some more thoughts on that. The lessons that I've learned since moving to Colorado, not lessons. Or not things I learned about Colorado. I've learned many things about Colorado, about the terrain, the history of the people, the culture.

This is more things about me. What have I learned? And what have I learned about myself and the world and my place in it. And I'm going to share that with you, because I think it can help you out as you navigate your life and your world. Uh, that's coming up in a moment, but first today's essay per Monday tradition, um, something that.

Is really important is making mistakes. No one wants to make mistakes. We don't try to, but I think when we're young, we make a lot of mistakes because of lack of experience, because of lack of knowledge, because we just haven't been through a lot of things yet that adults have. I mean, think of all the mistakes that you have made just in the past few years, hopefully you have learned from them because that is what the point of mistakes are at ESPN.

We kind of had a saying that. Um, it's okay to make mistakes. Don't try to, it's okay to make mistakes, but don't make it a second time because if you make it a second time, that means you haven't learned from it. That means you haven't grown from it. That means now you were just making mistakes and now you're, now you're a problem and that's not good.

Of course. So today's essay is called fall in love with making mistakes and it is over also to be read on the Troy Fargus show.com. So check it out over there or. Listen to it right here. Here we go. No one wants to make mistakes. We don't intentionally mess up on the job, make a wrong turn or go on a date with that weird guy or girl from hinge.

But for all of us, especially young people, mistakes can create invaluable learning experiences. So take advantage of that.

The Stoics live by a saying a more Fati or love of fate. This means that when we make a mistake or if something bad happens to us, we shouldn't feel sorry for ourselves or cast blame. Instead if we shift our perception, We can turn those obstacles into opportunities. If we love and become grateful for that misfortune, we can then focus on learning from it rather than getting upset by it.

So the next time you regret an Amazon purchase, don't hate yourself over it. Instead, take a step back and say to yourself, you know what, I'm glad this happened. In fact, I love that this happened because by changing your viewpoint, maybe you'll understand you don't need as much as you think, or you'll realize you can't spend your way to happiness and that no amount of cool stuff will ever fill the voice in your life.

Well, I have enough life experience yet to do everything right? So mistakes they're inevitable, embrace them own up to them. And most importantly, please, don't beat yourself up. I know you think you do, but no one expects you to have this all figured out. And the best part, the stakes are low and the 10 years that might not be the case.

Right now, the stakes are the best thing that can happen to you. If you view them correctly, the next time you're faced with a similar situation, you'll do better and be better for him.

Fall in love with your mistakes are more. Fazzi.

in case you don't remember. The Stoics are a group of philosophers, mostly from the past ancient Rome. Ancient Greece, but still with lessons that are highly applicable to today. You've heard me talk about stoicism on the podcast before with other people, highly practical advice that they give out. And it's something that I, uh, learn about and learn from every day.

And I'm more, Fazzi, it's hard, it's counterintuitive, but it's really just falling in love with the misfortune falling in love with. What goes poorly, falling in love with army stakes. All of that is so important. And again, counterintuitive, but it's important because we can spend so much time feeling bad for ourselves.

We can feel so down in the dumps and we can cast blame and we can not be held accountable. But if you just. Learn to perceive your mistakes in a different way. You can use them as incredible learning opportunities, which can then propel you to new Heights can force you to see things in a new way that you never would have had.

You just continue down the same trajectory. In many cases, mistakes can be a blessing in disguise because for example, I made mistakes at ESPN and those mistakes happened and it kind of forced me to realize that, you know what, maybe I'm not sure. That good at this thing. And so I should stop and put my energy into something else and that something else became podcasting.

And then I got good at it. And now it's led me to all these amazing places that I am in now that I wouldn't have probably realized had I stayed in the radio game. Had I done a really good job over there? I think mistakes can create incredible opportunities for you. So don't try to make mistakes. Of course, no one wants to do that.

No one wants to fail. But just recognize that mistakes can be a really good thing for you for your health, for your career, et cetera. I've already made some mistakes since I've left ESPN and been out of here on my own. Been in Colorado. I've made a ton of mistakes because I now have to do way more things for myself.

I've made mistakes on this podcast, things that I've said or things that I done. Strategically that I, you know what, I shouldn't have done that, but that's okay. Uh, I learn, I grow and I get better from it. That's what we all can hope for. I'm 25. No one expects me. No one expects you. If you're 24, 23, 26, 27 32, to have it all figured out, we're still going.

We never get to a point of full mastery of life. And I feel like so many of us feel like we have to. It's going to take so long for us to truly get all of our ducks in a row and we may never even get there. And the faster you realize that the more at peace you will be. So keep that in mind, don't make mistakes on purpose, but when you do flip how you view it, and it can be a really good thing for you can really change how you view the world.

Um, all right. So coming up here, as I said at the beginning, Last weekend in Colorado, came out here at the beginning of March, spent the entire month of February in Boston, left Connecticut. At the end of January, coming out to Colorado was something that I always wanted to do. I always had it in the back of my mind that if my life ever fell apart, which it did.

That if my life ever fell apart, that I would come out here and explore this curiosity of mine that had been inculcated in me in the fall of 2018. When I first came out here and I want to knock things off my bucket list, I wanted to. Really get down into the nitty gritty of Denver. I wanted to see Fort Collins and Boulder.

I wanted to go hiking in the mountains. I wanted to be at altitude. I wanted to just be out West and I wanted to be on my own away from the Northeast and see if I can make it on my own and, and all of these things and build a business and build the podcast and do, um, a bunch of these things I'm doing right now.

It hasn't been easy. And, uh, I've learned a lot in the process. I think. Everything at this stage in our lives can be a learning experience for us. And that's exactly what this has been for us. So I've written something here, um, called five things I've learned about myself. In Colorado. And again, this is not about Colorado.

I've learned a shit ton about Colorado, but these are things, bigger ideas that I have learned about me. So I'm going to read this essay to you. It will be over on the Troy Farka show.com tomorrow. I'm not going to add any of the music for the bells and whistles to it. I just want to read it to you straight.

So here we go. Here's my essay. Look at any Traveler's Instagram account and you'll see feeds flooded with photos of beaches, mountains, cobblestone streets, and to die for dinners conveniently. You don't see the loneliness, the depression, the self-doubt or the overthinking. When I quit my job left the Northeast and moved to Colorado in March.

I knew I'd inevitably faced this. The views, the sunshine, the bike rides, the beer and good vibes would undoubtedly be amazing. But I knew upending my life would bring challenges that most of you would never see. You saw the inspirational street art and the breathtaking city views, not the moments that I wanted to fall asleep at 2:00 PM to escape the crippling anxiety.

I felt you saw the coffee shops and the bike paths, not the walks where I ran circles in my head. Wondering if I'd made a mistake in giving up my life to tell the truth, this has been hard, but I don't regret coming out here because in my opinion, traveling is more educational than recreational. Every time I leave home, I want to learn about the world about other people.

Most importantly about me. I want to answer questions, questions like could I prove I don't need the stability of a big corporate job? Could I start somewhere. I new without the luxury of family and friends nearby and in a fully remote work life, where do I belong? Where is home after two and a half months in Denver, I'm not ready to answer all of them, but when I returned to the Northeast next month, my heart will hopefully tell me the truth.

But until then here's five things I've learned about myself during my stay in Colorado. Number one working 10 hours per week is not as good as it sounds. It's becoming an American dream, partly inspired by Tim Ferriss's bestseller. The four hour workweek, which I read here. Um, it's about working much less in filling their main time with leisure activities and the book Ferris explains how he automated most of his business and uses free time to travel the world, taking tango lessons in Argentina.

Becoming a world-class martial artist in Japan and scuba diving and Panama. Listen, I get it. Most of you are probably salivating at the thought of that kind of freedom and adventure. The lifestyle sounds great, but for 99% of you, it's impractical to the point of undesirable. And that includes me for a person who genuinely enjoys working the process.

I know it's just not for me. When I arrived in Denver, I had two jobs that took up 20 hours per week, but then I lost one of those jobs, which reduced me to eight hours. I spent most of April depressed once that job disappeared. Not because I liked it or Mr. Paychecks, but because I needed something to fill time, there's only so many coffee shops I can visit only so many day trips to take.

Those luxuries are meant to be a getaway, not a lifestyle. The nomad life sounds idealic. But I couldn't do it. I think working 40, 50, 60 hours, like so many of us do is irresponsible, but 10 hours are just too little for an ambitious and motivated person like me. So I hope to find a happy medium. Number two, he wouldn't beings are wired for community.

Part of the reason why I'm working so little doesn't satisfy me is because I don't feel like I'm a part of anything. And I never realized this until Dana white, the UFC president spoke to bill Simmons on his podcast about why he rushed the UFC back early on in the pandemic before all the other major sports leagues.

He said, we all joke and say, we want to retire that if we had this much money, I would do this and that bullshit. She said, and he continued because the reality is as human beings, we have to wake up every day and be a part of something it's in our DNA. It's the way we were built. There's only so many trips you can go on and movies, you can watch.

There has to be more to your life than just that and quote reckless decision-making aside. He's absolutely right. And I never thought about it until he said it. We are meant to be a part of something to work toward a goal and to do it with other people by working so little and living in a new place, I felt left out.

That's why I've fallen into cryptocurrency. In the past month, I found an online group filled with positive and inspiring individuals that centered around love, compassion, and this new technology that will change our lives forever. That bond is an essential component of living a happy life. And I know that now, number three, we need to create for others.

When I started this podcast in September, 2020, it was all about me. Hence the name of the show. I felt stuck. I missed interaction. I wanted to express myself, me, me, me that felt selfish and self-absorbed. So when I came out here, I switched the ethos of this show. It's not so much about me. It's about you.

And when I do talk about me, like I am right now, it's okay. Hopefully to help you or inspire you or educate you or make you feel something. And speaking of community, I want to build community around this show. I want to know my listeners and I want you to know me and I want you all to know each other, the essays I write interviews.

I conduct videos. I post eclipse. I share all for you. I'm not pushing any agenda. I'm not trying to get famous, which quick fuck that I don't want that. I simply just want to help people make the world a better place. It's all I've ever wanted to do. And it's all I'll ever continue wanting to do. Number four, human beings are highly adaptable.

I've learned this lesson before, but my time in Denver is further proven it to me. We bitch and moan about a situation. We tell ourselves we can't do something that will never survive under a certain circumstance. Knowing I've lived without a car before I didn't slip my decision to leave it back home.

Sure. It's made my life more difficult here, but. It's allowed me to walk and bike more and learn how to become a public transit wizard. Secondly, when I lost that job mentioned before I lost a substantial amount of income, so I quickly adjusted and we're an appetizers no more, all organic cage, free, everything.

No more this, no wonder that we're human beings. We resilient. We just figure it out. Number five turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters. Yes. This is a Dave Matthews quote and it's absolutely true. I first realized this on a solo trip to Scandinavia last year in Copenhagen, one of the coolest cities in the world, I felt alone and depressed.

Despite the amazing coffee shops out of this world of bread, old architecture and scenic views, I felt empty inside. Almost unable to conjure up any feelings of awe or appreciation instead, I was sad, but that was just a few days when I came to Colorado for a longer stay. I wanted to test my hypothesis.

Now that the experiment is over. I'm ready to confirm the results. It's not where, but who you're with that really matters. Colorado is arguably the coolest state in the country. You've heard me ramble about the sunshine, the fitness culture, the food scene, the nice people and the unbelievable scenery. But once I completed the honeymoon period, all of that meant nothing.

The mountains no longer inspired me. The city no longer excited me. The weather no longer impressed me because nothing we do in life matters. If we can't share it with the people we care about, that may be the most important lesson of all. Thanks for showing me that Colorado. So just the five things I've learned.

Um, it's been a really good learning experience and I know all of you can't be so fortunate to. Do something like this because you're tethered down by something, a job, a person, a lease or rent, whatever it is, um, a mortgage. But if any of you can ever do something like this, if there is somewhere that you want to go, that you've always fantasized about doing it, I would, I would challenge you to do it.

I know it's easier said than done. I know all of you can not be as fortunate. As I am to be working remotely and to have this kind of freedom and independence that I do, which I am grateful for. But if there's something that you've always wanted to do, you just got to go do it, rip the bandaid off, figure it out.

You'll be better from it. And he won't live with that regret. And I certainly do not regret coming out here. Will I be back here? I don't know. There's been a billion times over the past few months where I flip-flopped back and forth. One day in Colorado, one day on Northeast New Hampshire, Boston, New York.

I don't know. I don't know what I want. What I'm going to do. That decision does not need to be made right now. It will be made in the next month. In change. Um, I don't know what, what I'm doing, but if I don't come back to Colorado, if I don't come here for a longer term stay, I'm thankful for it. I'm grateful for it.

And I can die happily knowing that I did what I wanted to do, that, that thing that was always percolating in the back of my mind that I went and did it. So I'm proud of myself for that. And as I just laid out, I've learned so much about myself for it. If you want to hear it again, or if you want to read about it again, the framework is show.com.

You can, you can always check things out. Lot of good stuff happening on our tech. Talk this week on our IgG at the trade show. Please give us a follow if you have not done so already shout out to Kara Syracuse women's lax team, a 20 to eight win in the second round of the NCAA tournament against Loyola.

Marymount. Syracuse is going to play. Uh, against Florida, I think, in the coming days. So Kara shout out to you, rooting for you. You're doing a great job. I'm off to Arizona. Uh, this'll be interesting. I've been to Arizona before, but it hasn't been in my adventurous days. So it was when I was a child and didn't really appreciate it.

So super excited, not excited for the heat. I'm not a big fan of the heat. I'd rather be cold than hot, but, uh, should be a good time. Grand Canyon. And we got to go. We're going to go to Campbell back on a hike there. And, uh, there's a lot of things that I'm going to cross off the bucket list while I'm there.

So I can't wait to tell you all about it again. The Troy Farkas show.com LIBOR review, Apple podcast, subscribe to the Troy Farkas YouTube channel. There's so much great stuff happening that I can't wait to share. With all of you, please tell a friend, if you like, what's going on over here. Again, have a great week.

Stay positive, feel the love, and, uh, do all the good that you can. Peace and love. Y'all. Wow.