March 22, 2021

examine the friendships in your life.

examine the friendships in your life.

Look at the people in your life. Ask yourself, “What does this person do for me?”

It’s a selfish question. But at this point in our lives, when we’re on our own and figuring it out, we have to put ourselves first. Why? Because the 20s, and the decisions we make now, will shape our futures.

We have to be selfish.

And from this point forward, every relationship must benefit us in some way.

Maybe one friend makes you laugh. Great -- laughter truly is the best medicine. Perhaps another friend loves adventure. Awesome -- you need someone to force you from your comfort zone. And my personal favorite -- maintain the friendships with those who make you think, people you can have meaningful conversations with. That’s important.

But that girl from your sorority who still stirs up drama, or that guy in your office who’s always complaining? Re-evaluate their roles in your life. Their toxic sludge will seep into your bloodstream. Their aura will overtake you, transforming you into someone you don’t want to be.

Don’t allow that to happen.

If you have any friendships weighing you down, if there are people preventing you from living your best life, consider having a conversation with that person. Tell him how you feel. Explain to her why the friendship isn’t working out. If you want to repair the relationship, suggest possible solutions. If you see it as a lost cause, then cut ties all together. Thank him/her and wish all the best in the future.

It’s a difficult conversation to have. But in my experience, the hardest conversations are the most rewarding.

As we age, the number of relationships we have dwindles more every year. We lose touch. We get busy. We have husbands and wives and kids. We pick up and move to the other side of the country. It’s a sad aspect of growing up, but it’s the truth. 

It’s not a numbers game anymore. In high school, we marveled at the number of signatures in our yearbooks. Three years later, at the pre-games and the parties and the tailgates, our “friends” were too many to count.

But now? It’s about quality. Examine the quality of the relationships in your life. We are the product of the people around us. We become the choices we make.

Choose wisely.


Listen to today's podcast here.