The following is a post from this week's special series, "5 for 5,000" where I'm sharing five lessons I've learned since starting this podcast a year ago, which has now received over 5,000 listens on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Fear prevents us from so much.
It hates risk, despises rejection and avoids criticism.
If you’re unhappy with your life’s progress right now, Fear is likely why. We often blame external circumstances or other people for our shortcomings, but really, it’s on us.
Our dreams sit firmly within reach. To achieve them, we must push ourselves past Fear, our biggest opponent, our most fierce competitor.
First, by learning how to not give a fuck.
We need to stop caring about others’ perceptions of us, especially the opinions of those we hardly know.
It’s difficult. Social media breeds a 24/7 judgment zone, and we tell ourselves that our followers want to see the best versions of us -- the parties, the work events, the “personal news” posts.
Once the likes and comments start rolling in, our dopamine levels rise, creating a chain of events in the brain that leads us to want this again in the future.
So, how exactly do we stop giving a fuck if our bodies are chemically wired to give a fuck?
Like all things we want to improve upon, it takes practice.
And lots of courage.
So post those videos on TikTok and tell yourself the views make no difference. Convince yourself that if you create something YOU want to make, then that’s all that matters.
And after practicing that mindset a few times, you’ll actually begin to believe you don’t care. And soon after that, you legitimately will not give a fuck anymore.
And it’s a powerful feeling.
Replace TikTok videos with whatever you like. If you ask a girl out, convince yourself that the response means nothing to you; it’s about you finding the courage to ask her in the first place. If she says yes, amazing. But if not, at least you gave your best effort.
On a related note, you regularly need to shoot your shot. That’s the second piece of overcoming Fear.
Seriously, just go for it. In every situation, put yourself out there and see how people respond.
Send that cold email to a company you’d like to work for. Walk up to the keynote speaker and tell him you loved his speech. Try to negotiate a lower rent with your landlord.
In these scenarios, what’s the worst that can happen?
No response? No problem. People are busy.
The cold shoulder? That’s fine. Use it as motivation.
Again, you need to convince yourself that all the misfortune is a blessing in disguise. That each rejection or piece of criticism will serve you well in the long-run.
Shooting your shot and missing is better than never shooting at all.
So when you miss, dust yourself off and convince yourself you’ll be better for it.
And once you start shooting your shot en masse, something will eventually hit, and the result of your courage -- something most people don’t have -- could land you in an amazing place.
It certainly has for me.
- Stop giving a fuck.
- Shoot your shot. Constantly.
Incorporate these practices into your life and you’ll conquer the Fear that’s holding you back.
Got any feedback on today's post? Let me know! I'd love to hear from you.