May 20, 2021

growing up abroad, spontaneous life decisions & staying off social media w/ Nancy Aburto.


One of the most interesting people I've met joins the podcast today to discuss growing up in Europe and what it was then like attending college in America. Plus, Nancy talks about zig-zagging through life, overcoming loneliness, monthly mantras and why she doesn't have any social media accounts.

Nancy Aburto is a 24-year-old currently studying architecture postgrad at Georgia Tech. She spent much of her early life changing schools, living in the U.S., Mexico, Italy and Switzerland before attending Georgetown as an economics major. She moved to Los Angeles after college and then to Connecticut to work in the TV industry at ESPN. Nancy loves exercising, making art, traveling, nature and so much more.

She doesn't have social media, but you can follow us @thetroyfarkasshow on Instagram and TikTok. For more thoughts on Nancy, check out thetroyfarkasshow.com tomorrow for Troy's key takeaways from the conversation.

Curious to learn more about NFTs? Check out this easy explainer video.

If you enjoyed today's show, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or on our website.

peace and love.

Transcript
Good morning, everyone. Welcome into another episode of the Troy Farkas show, a podcast that is not about me. It is about all of us. The twenties are a crucial time in our lives and on this show, we navigate the highs and lows of early adulthood together. Thank you for joining me again. I apologize if I sound maybe a little bit different than what you're used to. I'm currently in a different room here, so it might be a little echo-y or sound different, but I'm in Mesa, Arizona. My dad's got a place out here for a month in shame. And so when I left Colorado, I knew I was missing family and just missing being around some people from my life and my circle. And so I came out here to Mesa. So I'm hanging out with him and go into the grand fucking Canyon on Friday. I can't wait. I just went on a four or five mile hike out here today. Cactuses everywhere. The desert. It is real it's wildlife terrain that I've never seen before. I've never seen an, a Guana and I've already seen 20. My dad saw a coyote on the golf course the other day. This is wild. It's dry, it's hot, but actually not that hot. The temperatures are in the nineties, apparently a hundred today. I was riding my bike out and it was 95 earlier, but I didn't really realize until my dad told me. And last night, I'll go on a walk with my dad and I, and he said, what do you think temperature's right. And I said, Scott, are you 78? He said, it's 91. And I said, yeah, what no way does not feel that way. So the night is super refreshing. And even though the temperatures are hot and just the humidity is so low, that it's just the actual temperature. And so I realized, you know, what, 95 degrees actually isn't that hot. When it's truly just 95 degrees and you're not, and again, any of the humidity. So I've learned a lot, uh, continue to learn a lot on my journeys. Did guys know this? So in Colorado, I was on mountain time, two hours behind East coast and in Phoenix or in Arizona as a whole, I think. They're also on mountain time, two hours behind, but they don't observe daylight savings time. So right now they are three hours behind as if it is Pacific time, but still technically mountain time. And then the next time we change the clocks, then it will be back. To them being two hours behind. So I don't know if any of you knew that, but fun fact about Arizona. All right. That's enough on that front today's guest is someone that I believe to be the most interesting person I have ever met. Nancy Aburto. I met her. At ESPN, we worked, we didn't work together, but I knew her. We saw each other at the gym a lot. We were in the same yoga class. And so I was always fascinated by her super fascinated by her, the way that she carried herself, her demeanor, she's the best dressed woman I've ever seen. And she kind of has an exotic background and whether, you know, her intimately or never talked to her before, I couldn't help, but just be struck by her because she kinda. She kind of displays an aura of mystery around her. There's just something about her that is just so different from everybody else that I've ever known. And I can't put my finger on it, but when I come across those people, I want to talk to them. And so I befriended Nancy and, uh, it's a shame that she ended up moving away because I really want to get to know her more, but I was able to get her on the pod today. So super excited for you all to hear about her journey, her journey, growing up, living in. Italy, Mexico, Switzerland, uh, going to school to college in America and how that's different from the schools in Europe and her journey and making spontaneous life decisions and exercise and dealing with loneliness. Good luck finding her. She's not on social media. We're going to talk about why she makes that decision and I cannot help but have respect for her there. I'm going to have a post on TheTroyFarkasShow.com tomorrow, a takeaway from the conversation that I think you guys will really like. So you can check that out if you want to hear more about me and Nancy, but without further ado, here's my conversation with Nancy other than though enjoy it. So in 2021, it is very difficult to stay anonymous. People know everything about everyone. You can go to anyone's Instagram, feed, Twitter, feed, Tik, TOK, whatever, and find out where they went to school, who their friends are, what they like doing. Today's guest has none of those things. I would describe you, Nancy, Nancy, Alberto, thank you for joining me as one of the most mysterious people that I have ever met. And I mean that in a cool way, it is very, is very cool in 2021, that there's someone out there who isn't on social media, who stays a little anonymous and doesn't want everyone all up in her business all the time. So I have great admiration for you, Nancy. Great respect for you. Thank you for joining me today. I've got so much that I want to talk to you about. Yes. Amen. So we met at ESPN. We're really not going to talk that much about ESPN. I'm kind of over it. You're over it. We both left the company. Um, and I've had a couple of people on from the company on already as well, but we met their yoga class at the gym, seen each other around all the time. Got together a couple of times. So I've enjoyed every interaction that we've always had. Um, so my first question for you is you are in. Georgia you were attending grad school at Georgia tech. Um, you left ESPN this past summer during the pandemic. It wasn't for you anymore wanting to go back to school. So I just kind of want to get an update. How are things going for you since you have moved? Well, I got through one school year and that seems to have gone by quickly in hindsight. That's always how it works, isn't it? Um, but I'm enjoying life in Atlanta. I've found a new yoga class. So I do yoga every Thursday. And that does bring me peace at the end of the week. Um, um, and now I'm just looking at the next two years, two more years in my program. So I'm really focusing on how I can approach these two years and enjoy them as opposed to surviving them, because I feel like I always get into that rut of just wanting to accomplish everything without actually enjoying the day-to-day. So that's the goal. Um, and I think the summer it's going to be important to recalibrate in that way, but I'm happy. Good. I totally feel that for a lot of the ambitious people out there. It's just, you're just always on to the next thing. What am I doing next? What can I achieve next? And you just never really live too much in the moment and that's something I certainly struggle with, but yoga helps bring you back into the moment. Super important. So you are a woman of many interests, undergrad at Georgetown. You studied economics. You get to ESPN. So then you're in the TV business. Now you, you leave ESPN and you're at Georgia tech and you're in the architecture program is what you're studying. So what have you enjoyed the most of what you've studied so far and worked in? Well, I, I say in short zigzag through life, um, I think it's anyone didn't know me and were to see where I've been and what I've done. It wouldn't make sense. They'd say, Oh, this. Young lady seems to have a problem, but for people that know me there, there are connections. So like I studied architecture because I'm bringing together my passions for art and precision attention to detail. And those are things that I was able to apply at ESPN. I liked being able to be creative with video production whilst also complying with their methodology and all the way back to Georgetown and studying economics that was rooted in. My liking for problem solving. And so it's all connected in some way. I think I'm, I'm just getting closer to what I ultimately see as is my space, which will be bringing together of precision and art, but in a way that I haven't fully decided yet or discovered, do you have an idea as to what your ideal would be once you are done with this program and a couple of years, where would you like to be. Well, in a couple of years, I hope to work for a firm because I think it would be important to learn from other people how to apply architecture. Um, but ultimately I'd like to have my own design firms, so starting with architecture, but then venturing out so that I can apply my creative. Um, My creative passions to other things beyond just, Oh, let's build this building, like perhaps landscape architecture and that sort of broader sense. Um, I don't know if have you ever heard of Jonathan Adler? Jonathan Adler. He's a designer. And I first came across his name, um, at Georgetown because he had a furniture store, but then one day I was on a Delta flight. Then I saw he had designed the menu for Delta. And so it's just one of those things that he's an artist and he applies his art to furniture to menus to who knows what else. And so ultimately like, I want to start in architecture, but venture out from there. Okay, well, uh, I'm rooting for you. All the listeners are rooting for you. As I said, a woman of many interests, many passions, your background is crazy. So I kind of want to backtrack a little bit. So you're born in Georgia. You've got family in Georgia. Then you just zigzagged to use your word just all across the country, all throughout the world. I mean, so born in Georgia. You're in Mexico for elementary school, back to Atlanta. Then you're in Switzerland for a couple years in high school in Geneva. Then in Rome for the back half, then college in America, your parents, your mom's in one country. Your dad is in another country all over the place. So I just want to know what was it like growing up and just moving around so much. As a kid, I just adapted my brother and I were young and that was just what we were used to. So by the time I was 18, we'd never lived anywhere more than three years, I would say the hardest move was from Switzerland, Italy, because that was November of my junior year of high school, which to that point had been the first time I had moved halfway through the school year. Um, but before that it was, it was normal for us. So. I think what's stranger is thinking to the past couple of years and how I've stayed in places for long times and not really traveled because even my four years at Georgetown, I spent one summer in Columbia. I spent a semester abroad in Brazil. And so now I'm wondering, Oh, well, I'd just be in Atlanta forever. Like that's an option, but it's not something that, it's not a question I had to ask myself before. Like where, where do I want to settle that eventually? I do want to settle because it is cool to travel and it was a blessing, but, um, there's something also nice about finding a community in, in somewhere to, to building row. I can't imagine. I mean, so my, when I was young living in upstate New York, my dad got a job when I was in second grade in Massachusetts. And so we had a big family discussion. Are we going to move to Massachusetts? I'm starting to get into sports. My older brother, five years older than me. He's in sports. He's entrenched in school. And so we ultimately decided that my dad was going to work in Massachusetts, but we weren't going to stay in New York because we didn't want to be uprooted and change. You on the other hand were uprooted constantly. How difficult was it just trying to get yourself established in a new place? Find new friends, adapt to a new culture, et cetera. It definitely changed the course of my life in some very specific ways. So. In elementary school and middle school, I was a big soccer player and being a very competitive, ambitious person. I have a journal where I said I wanted to try out for the national team and I just wanted to take it as far as I could. Um, but when I was 14 and my family moved to Switzerland, we got there and they just did not have competitive soccer for girls. Which is surprising because you think of Europe as being progressive in that kind of social way, but really it wasn't. Um, and at that point I was too small to play with, with the boys because actually in Mexico as well, I played with boys because there weren't girls teams for that, you know, when you're in elementary school, a girl's the same size of the boy. But, um, that is when I started running and track the came my main sport. So. Um, it is what it is running is still a big part of my life. Um, but it, that was one way in which it was a pivotal moment that I could no longer pursue that passion of learning. Um, in terms of meeting friends, my brother and I, we went to international schools in those different countries. And so that was. Easier probably than, than going to the local schools, because we were surrounded by other students and families from different parts of the world. So in a way, it was entering a community where people were used to that kind of, um, moving from place to place. It is the sort of thing that in hindsight, it really defined how I changed and developed as a person. Um, but I also respect my mom. My mom was a single mother. And, um, I respected the fact that she had two young children who wasn't going to stop her from fully pursuing her or professional career of all the places that you've lived. Which one was your favorite? Oh man, I really can't answer that question. Well, in terms of where sometimes I daydream about living is Brazil. Um, I like Brazil because Portuguese Spanish is the first language for me and learning Portuguese was. Was fun because it sounds like Spanish, but to me it sounds like Spanish being sung like a song. Um, and I like their culture as well. Um, and I, I spent my time in Rio and to me, the landscape of Rio is perfect. You have a beach and you have mountains and it's a city. So what else can you ask for? Where on your, where have you not been to yet that you really want to go to. Well, I want to learn how to surf. And so when I was looking up how to set, not how to serve, but places to go to be in like an adult surf camp, I came across Morocco. And so I want to go to Morocco because they have beautiful beaches and they speak French and I've never been anywhere in Africa. Cool. Now, when you, so obviously, you know, you would, you were born in America, so you were familiar with it, but you. Grew into a young woman abroad. So you come back to America, Georgetown when you got there. So 18 ish, years old, what were the biggest differences between American life culture, school than where he would come from? It was the, um, multifaceted nature of school here because the schools I went to in Europe, it was almost purely academic. Um, so my school in Switzerland didn't have sports or arts or music or anything like that. Um, and my school in Italy had sports, but they, they weren't very competitive. Um, and so getting to Georgetown and, and being not only, I think, university where there's high levels of sports, but also, um, talking to about people. And, Oh, I was in this club and that club in this couple and that like my school didn't really have clubs. And so I, I was a familiar with school in a very academic sense. So that was the difference. Um, I guess the difference in, in the academic practice or how people approach school, wasn't that big for me, but it was a big time for finding my identity or figuring out how I fit in the world because being. And international schools and other countries, I would just be American, but then getting to Georgetown, people were like, you're not from here, you're different. And I'm like, well, I have an American passport, but I guess, I guess I'm not fully like everyone here. I mean, there's a lot of people that go international schools. I'm not unique in that way, but my freshman year roommate was like, Nancy, you're just, you're just foreign. And so it's like, what does that mean? What does, um, So it was a time of like figuring out well, recognizing the different ways in which people identify me, but also like how do I want to be identified? Which I think are the two big questions. Yeah. You said something interesting there about kind of the sports and the clubs dynamic. That was very striking to me. So I studied abroad in Scotland, spent a semester there and they didn't have. Big college sports in America at a place like Georgetown. Basketball is a huge sport there, the campus, everyone there, whether you're a sports fan or not just lives in breeds, Georgetown basketball, and there's just schools scattered across this country where people go there, people go to Alabama so that they can go to the six football games a year. They base their decision. On that in Scotland where I was. And it sounds like in similar schools that you attended, it was just like clubs, sports, and there's no money in it. There's no financial gain for it. For the school. It's just kids playing at Scotland. It was rugby was the big thing. Just guys playing a rugby for the fun of it. There's no big, you're not trying to become a pro by playing club at college. People go to the games and it's fun, but it's not like life or death, like it is in America, which is, which was a cool thing to say. Yeah, exactly. And so I found it almost strange, like seeing the basketball players on campus and the way people would like change how they interacted. Yeah. And it's like a weird form of idolizing because we're all people. I mean, I understand those. To respect people that do what they do at a, at a high level. But, um, there is a line there between like respect and like recognizing and does treating someone like they're not a person when he got out of Georgetown. What did you want to do for the rest of your life in that moment career wise? Location-wise Oh gosh, I was unemployed and confused. Um, because I, I, I was graduating with a degree in economics and so many of my classmates were going to wall street and just about to make big money, but that was just never something I was interested in. And so at a certain point, I was like, even if I were to try to interview for one of those jobs, I wouldn't be able to pretend to be interested. Um, so I graduated and I went to Toronto for a month. I had a friend that was living there, so I just wanted to go to like a neutral location, not my mom's death house, not my dad's house, just somewhere where I could be and really think about what I wanted. And it was there that I interviewed for remotely for a job, with an event planner in Los Angeles. So, um, I ended up getting an internship in Los Angeles with an event planner and that's where I spent the latter half of 2018. Um, and so I really didn't know what I wanted to do in life and where I wanted to be. That was another situation where I just applied for thing and went. I had, um, all my stuff in the back of my red pickup truck. And I drove from Georgia to Los Angeles and just figured it out for a few months. Um, and long-term that wasn't going to be a good fit because it was a very small company, um, or we're just like four or five employees. And so there wasn't going to be much mobility for me there. And so it was in that time that I applied for and got the job at ESPN. And so once again, pack up the car and drive across country. So in conclusion, when I graduated, there were no hopes and dreams that was just anxiety. Uh, we've all been there now. So I kind of have a similar mindset. I really don't think things through long-term I'm so bad at long-term planning. I just kind of make decisions and. Either hope that they work out or if they don't work out hope that I can learn something from it to apply to the next situation. So I'm the King of just making spontaneous decisions. I kind of quit my job somewhat spontaneously, no plans really moved out here. No plans really? Sometimes it bites you in the butt, but other times it's a, uh, it's a blessing in disguise. So when you were making these decisions, Oh, I'll just get up and move across the country. Start this job, whatever were you scared at all? Or do you just super go with the flow? Go with the flow. I think sometimes my fears are placed in, in the wrong places. So like, I worry too much about how am I going to explain this to my parents or this or that, where, you know, at this point they either trust me or they don't and I think they do. Um, and so when I'm making these life decisions, a lot of times, I don't really think about, um, It fits the right fit for me. It's like, okay, how am I going to explain this? Which is something I'm still working through. Like, okay, what do I really want? Not what, what should my resume say? Not like, how will I explain this? What do I want? Which, um, it's, it's something I'm thinking about now, again, I think in undergrad, I had a lot of existential questions and at a certain point I knew I didn't want to do econ, but I just kept with it because I needed the degree. Um, I never questioned any of that, because if in a way you just have to get your degree. Um, but it's been since then that, you know, I really think about I'm at a point in my life that no longer is any of this mandated in the sense, you know, like anything I do now should be because it feels right. Not just because. It looks right. I totally feel that. I think we spend so much time trying to make decisions to cater to other people or to live up to other people's expectations that we often forget about ourselves and our own passions and interests. And so I'm glad that you were conscious of that you, you kind of just alluded to, um, you know, focusing on what you want. I know I asked you about what, what you want, like career wise, what, what you're thinking ideally, but do you have an idea right now? Just like what it is you want out of life in general? I know that's probably changing all the time, but yeah. I want agency independence, mobility. I, anytime I've been working in an office, I felt trapped and when I feel trapped, And it's not positive thoughts that are in my head. Um, and so I like working when I get started on a project, like it's, you'll have to pull me away to get me to stop. Um, because when I'm passionate about something, that's what I do. Um, and so I just want to find something that I'm happy doing every day, and that would involve some level of activity. Um, So I just know I can't, I can't be in an office. I can't do, I can't, I can't do, even though I'm such a creature of habit, I can't do that kind of regularity. Being in a dark studio at 10:00 PM in rural Connecticut is what you're saying. Well, see, the thing about that is it was a very dynamic workspace. Oh, I'll get it. That, especially in the stuff I was doing, you know, live soccer matches and stuff like that. Um, there was an excitement, and even though it was a bit annoying to have my schedule change every week, um, there's some, it was different. So there was. Certain characteristics of that lifestyle that were actually probably kept me engaged because it keeps you on your toes. But, um, no, I wasn't going to spend my life there. You mentioned independence is one of the things that you're looking for. That is something that I would say too, but as I'm actually out here doing it completely on my own, I think I'm kind of realizing that yes, I do love my independence, but I also do love. Being around the people that I care about. And there is something as great as the flexibility that I have of being able to live and work where I want. There's also something special about being more settled down, becoming a part of community, knowing everything, um, That's going on there. And so I'm kind of struggling with my independence in terms of what I want, but I feel like you have just been so independent your whole life because you've just moved around so much. And you've just had to figure things out, uh, being on your own all the time. Where do you fall on independence and, uh, how easy or difficult it is? I think the pandemic has taught me a lot about how I feel about independence, which I am. Definitely introverted. I like my own space. I like governing my own schedule, but I also need human interaction. I actually joined a gym where I do the yoga. I joined a gym because even if I'm not talking to them, I just need to see humans. But beyond that, I really value my friendships. So my two best friends, they live in London. We went to high school together in Rome. And even though we're so far away, I value having them as my support system and being able to talk to them and share with them. And so I, when I speak about independence, that's more in the work sense. So not feeling like you're down anywhere, but I, I definitely want to live a life that's closer to my friends. Um, because it, it gets lonely. Yeah, I've certainly experienced this just in the last few months. I certainly experienced it, um, for a while at Connecticut. And I'm sure you probably did as well. Just navigating loneliness when you are feeling low and lonely and isolated and a little sad. How do you get through it? Well, loneliness for me, it's almost like, um, what do they call it? Seasonal depression. It's one of those things that I don't, it's hard for me to recognize in the moment. And so if I go through three months of the Connecticut winter and then, you know, go to the beach, then I'm like, wow, I needed the sunshine. But in those three months, I didn't realize that I was just sad. And sometimes that happens to me when I spend a few days at home and don't talk to humans. The I'm just like mopey and lethargic. And then I get out and I feel, I feel alive again. So I'm going to the gym and doing yoga is definitely help. No offensiveness receptionist. We talk. Um, she's really nice. And, um, with my classmates, I try to connect with them as well. But part of the difficulty of the pandemic is, you know, this last year, my first year in grad school has been almost fully remote. Right. And so I spend my day at the computer doing this, doing zoom all day, and then you just close the computer and you're home alone. And so I realized on the one hand, it makes learning awkward sometimes, especially when it comes to design, but it's also, I never realized how much you get out of those. Like the five minutes before class and the five minutes after class that you're just. You know, talking about the weather with the person next to you, you know, like that's very valuable for us as social people. So, um, it's one of those things that in the beginning of the pandemic, I was like, Oh, well, I keep to myself, so I'll be fine. But now I'm realizing that. I am looking forward to getting more of that, that personal engagement with him. Yeah. I've come to the same realizations as you. Um, because working remotely during the pandemic at ESPN, everyone that I was working with via zoom and such, I'd already known and met and chit-chatted around with, at the office for years, but now. The people that I'm working with, I have actually never really even met face to face in person before. And so it is, it is a different dynamic. It is lonely. And I do find myself, man, like I do kind of miss an office vibe. I do kind of miss just that, that five minutes of chit chat. And just like at ESPN sky is talking about sports or, you know, BS thing and breaking each other's balls and whatnot. I do. I do miss that vibe. Um, So I, I fully get what you're going through there. Now you mentioned a couple of things here that I want to talk about physical fitness, me and you had this definitely in common that we're both kind of like hyper obsessed about our health sometimes to the point that it's unhealthy of how much we care about care about it. So what kind of is your approach to diet, exercise fitness altogether? Well, speaking of unhealthy, I've recently injured my knees. So I think I overdid it. Um, but my general approach, I guess it's different diet, it's everything in moderation. And I just try to go for the most. Um, unprocessed foods. And so I really not restrictive, like cutting out anything other than, you know, just if I'm going to have some kind of pasta, I'll make my own sauce. Um, sometimes I'll make my own pasta. Um, just because I think there's the chemicals and the preservatives that are problematic and also, um, packaged foods tend to have a lot more sugar and salt than if you yourself, um, But every once in a while, I just want some Ben and Jerry's, so I'll just get them in Jerry's because I'm very like, Oh, half baked brownie and cookie dough. I'm like, gosh. Um, but because I am very like obsessive sometimes with things I don't count calories just because I don't think that would be good for me. Yeah. That's what I do in terms of diet. And then in terms of exercise, Um, well, before I hurt my knee, I was running like six miles a day. And then I was trying to build up my long runs to a bit longer and I've run six days a week. And so I take one day off. Um, but since I hurt my knee and I've joined the gym, now I do more lifting. So I'm lifting more. And then I do yoga. And so I hurt my knee like six weeks ago. So now I'm running again, but only, not more than like three miles. So I do that as well, a few days a week. Um, at the moment I don't really have a strict training plan. I just like the day before yesterday, I did like day yesterday did yoga. So today I'll probably do some more, um, supplemental light things and then maybe arms. So I don't, it's not like Monday's this Tuesday's that, but I just go on, what did I do yesterday? So what will I do today? But, um, for me, it's, it's my favorite time of day working out. So it's, it's not, um, a chore. It's my time to like, leave the house. It's my time to just blast my music. And, um, I really enjoy it. It brings me peace. I'm a creature of habit routine you are as well. I think a lot of the world's most successful people kind of go back to the routines and habits, things that they fall into every day. So I'm just curious, what are some of the routines that you live by? Mm, coffee strong. And, um, I work out every day. That's important. So normally when I'm planning my day, I think. Okay. Is it going to be a morning workout? Is it going to be an afternoon? Cause it's not questioned like that's happening. Um, and other than that with school, it's really just making sure I get everything done. So I carry an agenda, uh, cause I have to write it down otherwise I forget. And so I think about, okay, what's urgent for today. What's kind of urgent for tomorrow and what what's happening in a few days that I can like start to prepare for. And um, so those are really like, that's really how I take on the day. Um, Because it's when things aren't written down or when things aren't planned that I freak out because I like I get paralysis. I don't know what do I have to do? And so if I have a game plan on the worst days, I'll, I'll ride it out. I'll say, you know, six 30, wake up seven, start work nine, take a break, go running, you know, Come back shower, 11:00 AM back to work. So like I'll do hour by hour. And then when you do that, you realize there's a lot of time in the day. Yeah. Yeah, no, I, I, uh, absolutely love that. I do similar type deal. I remember you telling me one time that. And I don't know if you're still doing it, but that you kind of live by these mantras every month or do you have a theme every month? Are you still doing it? Oh yeah, I was doing that. Not really anymore. Um, what were some of those themes that you were doing? Oh, well, so this was 2019. There was one month that I was vegan. So I called it February with the who there was, um, October, like there was, um, sober September because August was hard. Um, and so I like alliteration and, uh, and I tried to get set an intention the past couple of weeks, uh, that I finished the spring semester. And, you know, on Monday I'm starting my summer semester. The past couple of weeks, I've been focusing on my own art because when I get consumed by school, I forget about my own art. So in the past couple of weeks that's been the intention. And generally what I do is I work out because that gets my endorphins going. I get air. And then I come home and I do my art when I'm in the zone. And then I crash and then I go to sleep. It's really difficult these days. I certainly do it. My own art is, is writing. Uh, it's very hard these days to focus. There's a bazillion distractions, especially as we're just becoming more connected to technology and relying on those for interactions. How do you get to that flow state, where you can just lock in and focus on the task at hand? I realize part of it was. Um, just about my energy level. And so that's where working out beforehand comes in, because if I just wake up and sit on the couch, I am a couch potato. Like when I'm not going, I just stare at the wall. And so going to the gym is important to get me moving and get me amped and then getting home and starting art. And then in terms of not getting distracted by like what's going on on my phone, um, If you focus, you can just get so much done in that little time. So like right now it's 1145. So if I were to go into my studio room right now and say like, okay, no phone until 1230, even though that's just 45 minutes, you can get so much done in that time if you're just focused. And so. I guess I work well with creating structure, which it's like, why is that rules that don't even matter? Like they don't matter to the outside world, but for me, like it helps to set rules, just follow the rules and get it for sure. I, uh, I actually loved that. Now you are not on social media. As I said at the beginning, like you, your main, pretty anonymous to the outside world. Why, why do you choose to do that? Well, I've had sex before. Um, I have a Facebook to like connect with friends and other countries. Um, but really I just changed my profile picture every two to three years. And, um, that's all I do there. I have an Instagram, not with my real name though, because I don't want people finding me. Um, And that is more for more artistic expression. It's also where I follow people that inspire me. And so that's what I have that for. But again, I've had social media other times, like I had an Instagram under my real name. I had a Snapchat that I realized I just get distracted on a good day and like depressed on a bad day. And so it's just, I didn't need either one of those in my life. Um, and. So that's why I been still, I also feel like I'm just late to the party. So like when I got this left Instagram in December, um, I was like, Oh, no wonder people do this. It's fun. It's like mad God. Like, um, but I guess in short it's just because I realized I get distracted and then I also being a competitive person. I, I guess I compare as well. And also being 24, like. Sometimes on social media, I feel geriatric compared to these influencers. And so that also brings me down. Um, it's like, what, what are my streams of income? Why am I not getting ad dollars? I can't, I can't get into that vicious cycle in my head. Do you feel any sense of FOMO? Because there there's trends. There's news, there's all sorts of things happening on social media. Um, that many people would consider to be important and that many people swear as Bible and you're missing out on all of that. Do you feel like you're missing out on anything? Not really. And maybe this is bad, but the only thing I feel like I'm missing out is sometimes like the dark side of my brain goes like, As a young woman in the 21st century, I'm missing out on income. Um, which maybe that's just the, like, again, the competitive side of me, but in terms of like trends or anything like that. I just doesn't really interest me. Yeah. I think it's important to be aware of the news and what's going on in the world, but, um, in terms of like even a Tik TOK dance or something, I don't know. I just, it's not compelling to me. Yeah, no, I totally, uh, I totally get that. It's um, just so many people just. Live and die by it and put so much value into what other people have to say. Uh, like means validation. A favorite means validation. They retweet, uh, people base their entire identities and perceptions of themselves based on how other people perceive them on social media, which is so unhealthy. But so many of us do it. I think what's also becoming more clear is that it can go away too quickly. And so that's also why. I think of the fleeting nature of it, because there's a fleeting nature of like, people are just scrolling, so Hey, no one cares as much as you think they care, but B um, I do really like podcasts and I like watching podcasts on YouTube. Um, and I came across this podcaster who she, um, is really into shit. Well, she has a magazine and a company all about, um, creating, like. Very sensual sexual content. And so it's a lot of like topless photo shoots and stuff like that. And so she had like 6 million Instagram followers and got her account deleted. And so. It's one of those things. It's like these, these are private companies that can just, you know, you're, you're putting your whole identity, your time, your effort, everything into it. And it could all implode today. Um, and so I think people are beginning to realize that as well, that it's not going to be there forever and it could be taken away. I'm glad you brought that point up because that can kind of apply to a bunch of things in life. I try not to, um, I always live below my means. I certainly did that in good old Bristol, Connecticut, because I'm always under the mindset that this can be taken away from you at any moment. So I would hate to be, especially right now, like I not working for a company, so I don't get a paycheck every week. Things are much more fleeting, so I kinda. I can afford this. I can afford this nice restaurant. I can afford this place, but things can also be taken away from me in any moment. And I don't want to set the expectation that every week I can afford, you know, a $60 dinner. So I just stray from it. Cause I don't even want to get to that place to think that I can live that way. You know? Because it can all be taken away from you at any moment. Um, I do want to ask you this. This is something that I used to ask people on the podcast. I haven't in a while, but I really want to get your answer. What do you think happiness is when Nancy, uh, Berto is happy? What is going right in your life? I'm picturing a scene. I'm picturing being on the back of a pickup truck in the sunshine. Like in the middle of nowhere, is that like, it, it doesn't have to do with any sort of accolade or anything. It's just about a sunny day and feeling like there's no urgency to be anywhere else, which I guess just sounds like vacation, but, um, it's, it's that sense of peace? I like that piece. I like, I think that's also why I really enjoy nature. It's that feeling of peace that. Is obviously in your surroundings, but also internally, um, which is, you know, that's the struggle. Yes. I think I love what you just said. It's that kind of, um, stillness within you where you're not freaking out about. What's happening tomorrow. You're not anxious about your tests next week. You're not freaking out about a promotion or like a project that you have going on at work. It is just, you are content with everything in your life, with your job, with the overlay, with your relationships. People think that happiness is this some glamorous abstract concept. And I just kind of take it as. You are just content when you are not striving, you are not desiring anything more. You are not, you are completely happy with everything that you have grateful for, what you have and not wanting to be someone else. You are perfectly content with everything that you have. Exactly. Sometimes it might even be on an airplane. I think about that with it. Like, of course, if you don't have a deadline and you're like anxiously typing on your computer, if you're just sitting there, there's the piece of. Your phone is on airplane mode and you're like, you're trapped in this tube in the sky. And that could be scary, but it's also nice because it's like, no, you can't sweep the kitchen. You can't run to the grocery store. You're, you're forced into that stillness. And so that's the word it's still now. I know that me, you and everyone else listening is trying to just, uh, figure our lives out and, and, and all these things. And we run the hamster wheel in our heads all day about so many various things. But, um, I'm curious. Do you have any advice for anyone who is going through, um, self doubt, worry about. All of these things, um, relationships, career, um, school for, you know, like things that young people are really, really caring about these days. Well, to answer that, I guess I'll share my mantra when I had, um, this is when I was. I came up with it when I was going through a breakup. Um, and so it was helping me cope every day. I would say at five days, five, five times in the morning and five times at night. And when I was feeling pain, anxiety, and like the sadness, it was calm me down. But even beyond that, going through periods, I might even say it today after this. Um, anytime that I'm feeling flustered, I think to myself, the universe will bring me what I truly desire and deserve when the time is right. Every day until then I will be patient and the best version of myself, strength, passion, and purpose will guide me. And so that, it's my three sentences. And for me, it's first recognizing that some things are out of your control and you just have to be positive and hope for the best, because what's the alternative hoping for the worst thing you don't want that the other is well in the meantime, do your best. Um, And let your passion and your strength and your purpose guide, you. I think that is a great place to end this conversation. Nancy, thank you so much for, for sharing your wisdom. Um, you have always amazed me since I met you. I feel like, you know, you're 24 and you're certainly not geriatric, but you approach the approach the world with a more mature mindset than, than most of us do. So, yeah. I'm super proud of you and all of these things that you are you're doing. And I can't wait to see a building in Atlanta in few years that has your initials carved into it. Well, thank you. This was really fun. Yeah. A mantra she ended with was perfect and a great place to end the conversation. Just be positive control what you can control and. We all talk about on this podcast all the time about our journeys and just getting to where we want to go. And I really liked what she said there is that, Hey, we know we're at eight right now. We know we want to get to B, but it could be a long time before we get to be. So rather than beat ourselves up along the way there for not being there or for doubting ourselves, let's just enjoy the journey. Let's enjoy the process. Celebrate the mini victories. That we have along the way and trust that it will all work out. I don't know if I'm putting words in your mouth, Nancy, but that's what I took it to mean. So Nancy, thank you for joining me. You are so interesting. So sweet, such a sweetheart. I've always enjoyed talking to you and, uh, I wish I could plug you on social media, but that is impossible right now, but, uh, I hope you all enjoyed the conversation. We've got some clips from Nancy. Over on Detroit rock, his YouTube channel. So if you are interested to see what Nancy looks like, you can go check it out there. I've also got a new video up about NFTs. You've heard me mention it, NFTs cryptocurrency. And in this video, I explained what they are. Why they matter and how it will come to change the way that we all communicate with one another. So just a couple of minutes, video of me just sitting there, talking to you all about what this is. So if you've been wanting to know what it is, but haven't felt like putting in the work to do so and getting out of your comfort zone to go learn something new, just go over to my YouTube channel. And there's also a link in the podcast of this show notes. So if you want to know more of one easy, simple explainer, that makes sense to you. Go check it out there. I do strongly recommend it. If you enjoyed today's podcast as well, you can always leave a review over on Apple podcasts or on the Troy fucker show.com our website. I hope you guys all have a great weekend. I'm off to the grand Canyon. I'm off to Flagstaff and we'll have to do a bunch of cool things. And I've got some really good episodes coming up for you guys next week. That I'm really excited for you all to hear. Watch. Read about et cetera, et cetera, but until then have a great weekend. See people you love. I think things are really changing right now based on what I'm gathering the Northeast. So mass mandates are being lifted and restrictions are being lifted. That is all awesome. So I hope you guys can all go take advantage of these things. See the people you love. Get coffee. Go to a brewery, all that good stuff, super excited for you all to just take your lives back, take the lessons that you've learned from this last year and change and apply them to this next phase of our lives. I think that will be really, really important. Have a great weekend. Y'all I'm out. Talk to you Monday.