Aug. 30, 2021

my first week living in Portsmouth, NH.

After officially settling into my new home, I tell you about the grand experiment I'm undertaking, overcoming my gratitude problem (11:18), a fun show announcement (14:40) and why my mental health is the strongest its been in a long time.

If you have an idea on how to go about making friends in a new place, please comment on the YouTube video or leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

peace and love.


Good morning, everyone. Welcome into another episode of The Troy Farkas Show, a podcast that is not about me, it's about all of us. The twenties are a crucial time in our lives. And on this show, we navigate the highs and lows for early adulthood together. Thank you so much for joining me from my new studio in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Hopefully it sounds okay. I'm doing this on YouTube now as well. So for those of you who are listening and can't see where I am, I am. The walk-in closet of my bedroom in my beautiful new apartment, uh, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. And there's some clothes here because I didn't clear them all out. There's still some boxes here.

There's some paper towels here in the background that you can see my desk here. We've got Sigmund Freud, one of my favorites all the time thinkers. And then of course another great all the time. George Costanza from the great American TV show. Seinfeld TF show mug is here in hands with water. Of course, trying to stay hydrated as I'm training for this half marathon I'm wearing my whole Ozzy t-shirt shout out to you.

Halsy my girl. Uh, New album on Friday. If I can't have love, I want power. She just had a baby a couple of weeks ago, new album. I've listened to some of it. I'll give you my thoughts as I listened to more of it. And I'm also wearing my live free or die hat. That is the state motto of New Hampshire. My new state.

Going all in on New Hampshire. I'm so excited to just become a big New Hampshire guy, but ever even that entails I'm about to go all in because I've just moved into Portsmouth. And I like it. I like it a lot. And by the way, hope you all have had a great weekend that you enjoyed the week off without me.

Hopefully you took the time to catch up on some past archives of the show or to read some stuff. I did put out a blog post over on the Troy Parker show doc. Because I missed you guys and I want to give you some updates, but I didn't have, um, the ability to do a podcast last week just because I pride myself on quality.

This is where I do as a podcast producer, I freak out about every little thing when it comes to sound quality and video quality, those things weren't in place. They're a little more in place now it will obviously get better than this. This presentation will not be the same, I promise, but I'm just wanting to get something out for you guys last week.

Cause I can speak to you all had a blog post where I just talked about my initial thoughts, um, on the apartment. I like it a lot. It's a really nice place. And I've lived in some shitty places before, um, by choice. As I've said many times on the show, I'm a minimalist. I try to get myself to believe that life is not about things.

It is not about stuff. It is not about trying to impress other people is not about, uh, You know, your, your kitchen table, doesn't have to say something about you as a person, the number of books you have on your shelf, doesn't have to say how smart you are. So I've just been trying to program myself into not caring.

What other people think about my space and making a space that is truly comforting well for me and is right for me and, um, me to be happy in the space that I want. So I've been able to find happiness and peace and comfort in some places that other people. Would not find to be super comfortable, but life an expense.

Um, if there's anything I've done over the last year, it has been constantly putting myself in tough situations and just trying to figure shit out because we are highly adaptable as human beings. And so I just like to put myself in situations to see, to see what happens to see what I make of it. And so I've now decided to put myself in another experiment where I'm actually living in a really nice place, like by all standards, not just my standards by all standards.

This is a nice place. It's expensive. It's in New Hampshire. In Portsmouth, a sea coast town, right by the water, right from this historic beautiful touristy downtown area in Portsmouth. And so, you know, the apartment complex says I'm in my, also my walk-in closet is also my laundry room. So that is all in unit.

The AC, you might hear that going on in the background, we got that central air, um, all modern appliances and all that stuff. There's an elevator in the lobby. There's a coffee machine. A pool table. And there's so much room for working from home or for just reading. There's a small gym and they offered a personal fitness class this past weekend that, that I went to.

And so there's a lot of good stuff going on here. And I've long felt that I didn't deserve a place like this because I always like to kind of have a chip on my shoulder. Right. And I never liked to think that I've. I always liked to, um, stay really humble and to not allow myself to ever think that I can get to a point in my life where I deserve all these nice things.

And I deserve all of these other things that people want. Right. So we spend so much of our lives trying to get. Famous and fortune, and we want all of these things. And then when we actually get them, we realize that they're actually not as great as we thought that we were seeking them out for this, this entire time, thinking that we would find happiness.

Then only to find that when we get those things, happiness is still elusive. It is happiness is found within us. Not within stuff, not within me. Not within jobs or status or how other people view you. It comes from within. And so, as I embark on this new chapter here, I'm going to do my darndest to try to stay humble, to try to not let this life, the luxurious lifestyle, get the best of me.

How do I plan on doing that? There's an elevator, right? I'm a very active person, as you know, I love taking the stairs. And so I live on the third floor by design because I want to take the stairs to get to the third floor. So that means and all situations and the vast majority of situations, I'm going to take the stairs.

A five, got four bags of groceries that are pretty heavy. I'm going to take the stairs. If I'm carrying a TV or something, I'm going to take the stairs. It's only when I'm training for the half marathon right now, I took the elevator today because, uh, I'd run seven miles and my calf is dead and I have no feeling in it.

So I was like, all right, I'll take the elevator for this one. But just doing things like that, where I'm not letting this get the best of me where I'm not letting it change me, you know, because I want to stay humble. I want to stay grounded. I want to realize. You know, I want to be able to enjoy nice things, but also stay myself.

Don't become pretentious. Don't become someone who cares, what other people think. And don't become someone who tries to impress people. So it's this experiment that I'm looking forward to, to doing, you know, here where I'm like, you know, can I have the best of both worlds? Can I live in a nice, comfortable place?

Not have to struggle so much purposely, deliberately like I have in the past. And can I, can I do those things, but also. Uh, stay true to myself and be me. So that's something I'm really looking forward to finding out about me. Uh, like I said, Portsmouth is a really cool town. I done some exploring already so far as you might've imagined trying to figure out the best walking routes in town.

Only about three, four miles outside of downtown. So, uh, walking, they're biking there, I've been driving there this week just to, just to scope out the road scene. Cause the there's not great walking paths here. So it'll involve some walking on the side of the road, which as you all know is something that, uh, I am more than happy doing, but I just wanted to check out the safety of at first I've been running at Portsmouth high school, just around the track there and uh, going downtown Friday, I went downtown into the heart of the city.

People were partying. It was a great time. It wasn't super path. Like it's a small touristy town at the end of August before school has started. So it's still pretty packed with summer tourists, but it's not that. Uh, lines are not that bad, whatever there's live music everywhere, which is awesome. There's all these local shops.

It's not corporatized, which I absolutely love. There's nothing. I love more than supporting local and being with, you know, around small business and supporting small businesses with my hard earned money. I loved pouring that back into the community. So I'm so excited to do that. Here went to a good bar.

Friday night, got a, got a drink, got some of the best gelato I've ever had at this attendant. Bakery. Um, I got toasted almond gelato. Oh my goodness. Skies. It was so good. Like if any of you come visit me in Portsmouth, I'm taking you to this place. I walked along the waterfront. Um, there's some beautiful restaurants that are just overlooking the waterfront, overlooking the Piscataway.

I believe it's called. And so I just hung out there for a while and took it all in and took in the peace and the scenery and the light shining down on the water and the bridge, the bridge into main is right there. You can see it, uh, which is very cool by the way, you cross into New Hampshire and you get to Portsmouth about 20 minutes in you're in Portsmouth at the crossing, the New Hampshire border from Massachusetts, then you're in Portsmouth and five minutes later.

Uh, you can be in Maine, so you can cross into too, like over two states and, uh, 30 minutes span, which is wild. I've never come across that before. So a little fun fact for you. And, um, Saturday just explored a bit more, went into town. Had hit up a coffee shop, port city coffee roasters. Good time. I can't wait to explore more.

I was checking out. Okay. What yoga studios do I want to go to? Because I really miss going to a consistent yoga class. When I was working at ESPN, they offered a yoga class that I absolutely loved going to every Thursday highlight of my week. And it's just so good for you, right. So, so good for you.

Physically and mentally. And so I've really been craving to get back into that. So I've signed up for a couple of yoga classes, have this one studio. Hopefully I can make it a year-long membership once I go tomorrow. And, uh, you know, eight out there was an  place, not too far from me that I can walk to easily.

So I absolutely love that. That is something I will do routinely. I've got a Chipola here, a Starbucks here. I live in this Plaza where there's a movie theater and a grocery store. All of these great things. I went to trader Joe's today. First time ever, I've never lived near a trader Joe's or whole foods I've always wanted to, uh, I've always been an Aldi guy, a ShopRite guy, a market 32 slash price shopper guy.

So now I'm really excited to shop at trader Joe's. Went there today. Got some amazing granola that I've already had half the bag of gods them, all mends, uh, and all sorts of fun things, fun, healthy things, things that are fun to me, maybe not to you, uh, that I cannot wait to try. Uh, that was my weekend. I'm super excited about, about everything going on here.

My, my work situation is good. Um, I'm still getting all the necessary pieces of furniture, um, that I need here. Again, I don't need them. Young, single guy, one bedroom in here. So I don't need much. I got a futon the other day, um, getting a kitchen table working on that. I'm getting a little side table working on that.

I've got a desk, so we're good there. I still need to get a desk chair needed to get a control table. Like I said, just trying to figure out how to, to arrange it in the way that speaks most to me. So I'm going to have. So fun with that. So we'll have to hang some of my art on the walls. I've got some photos with my friends that I'm really excited to, uh, to decorate around here.

We've got those cheesy little quote things, you know, I've got one about having less stuff. I've got one about coffee. I've got my coffee bar set up here. So I'll do a little apartment tour soon and I'll show you guys so really excited for that. Um, you know, to, to have my own space again, I, I. Very much missing since I left Connecticut in January, just having my own space, a space to call my own.

That is mine. And, uh, I've been having a gratitude problem over the last few months because, uh, You know, as Jasmine Noonan said on the podcast, a couple, couple of months ago, the importance of gratitude and waking up every day and just being grateful for what you have. And, uh, I had been having that missing from my life and I think it's because not, you know, I want to be grateful.

I understand the importance of gratitude and the power of it and how it can literally change your life like she said, but it isn't until I'm actually on my own living in my place that I have earned that I can pay the bills. That it's mine. That it is all mine. I don't know. It gets my level of gratitude gets to a different level when I'm actually there.

So now I'm waking up so grateful every day. I'm so excited for this new opportunity to, uh, be living in a place where I've chosen to live in where no one is fortunate to live in. Um, Looking forward to this, uh, looking forward to trying to find happiness in a new place. Again, I I've been moving around and all sorts of different places over the last few years and looking forward to trying to find a tribe of my own.

Um, and on that note, I've got a question for you guys because I'm trying to. Uh, figure out the best way to go about making friends in this new apartment complex. There's like 300 something rooms in here. So there's a lot of people here. There's um, I've just seen in the hallways. There's young, young people, there's old people.

There's lots of dogs, so many dogs everywhere. Um, and so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to go about making friends. I mean, I say hi to people as I pass by them, of course, but what's the next step? I'm wondering, should I just go door to door knocking on people's doors and um, just say, Hey, I'm Troy, I'm upstairs on the third floor.

Just moved here, new guy. Um, just want to introduce myself and that's that like, can I do that? Is that weird? Because I'm always on this treadmill, this line of like, I feel like this is fun. I would be cool with this. I would love if someone came and knocked on my door and introduced himself, uh, to try to become friends or at least become familiar with, but I realized other people, things don't always land for other people as they land for me.

So that's something I'm conscious of. So let me know, comment on this episode below, let me know your thoughts. Uh, can I just go door to door knocking on people's doors? Saying who I am. And I'm now asking a little bit about, about their story and why they're here, what they do for work and all that shit check.

Cause that's something I would like to do. I would really like to make some friends here. I've got friends in Boston. I'm really happy to have that, um, that thing to fall back on so that I'm not lonely. Um, but I really want to find my own people here, man. And it's going to be hard because I'm not working in an office.

You know, that's usually a way. To meet friends in a new place. It's an easy way to convenient way, but now working remotely, working from home, uh, in a totally new place, it's going to be difficult. And so I'm hoping that this yoga class thing can, uh, maybe get me there or, you know, I just signed up at a gym, so hopefully that can get me there.

And so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to make friends. So if you guys have any advice for me, let me know in the comments below. I would really appreciate it. And so, uh, I've also got some little, little fun news to announce. So I've been doing the podcast for about a year now and I'm just, just under a year and it just so happens to be coinciding with, um, we're approaching the 5,000 mark, the 5,000 listen, mark.

And so 5,000 listen, like I worked in podcasts, the podcast I work on, they're getting 5,000 downloads and listens and strings. Routinely like per episode. Um, but obviously mine starting from scratch and I'm not like I'm not a big name. I'm not famous or anything. I have no calling card, so I didn't expect anyone would listen, but it just so happens that about 5,000 times in the last year, the Troy Parker show has had play.

By all of you. And this is just on the audio side, not the video side is not taking any of the video side into account. So, uh, 5,000 times it's been listened to, and that's not a big number at all, but it is a big round number. It's significant. And so I, I'm very grateful for that. And thankful if it's 5,000 or 500,000, no matter what it is.

I can't believe you guys tune into me and listen to me and watch me and entertain my, my thoughts, because this is something I've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to have a podcast and now I do, and it has my name on it. And it's not about me. It is obviously about me today. Also just a reflection of all of us and the things that are going on and all of our lives and things that, you know, you might be thinking, but you might not say I'll say it.

Uh, I will say what's going on in my mind. I've now reached this point where my mental is so strong. My mental is the strongest it has ever been right now. I feel like you cannot crack me. I don't care what people think, which is a truly empowering feeling to have. I don't care what people think. My body's feeling good.

My, my mental, when I'm running, my mental is overpowering my body right now, which is great. I feel disciplined again. I feel determined again, motivated work is going great. Like you cannot shake me right now. And I'm so fucking pumped about that. And, um, you know, this podcast is, is it, you know, it has helped me get there because I realized, you know, what, if people don't listen or don't watch that's okay.

You're ultimately doing this because you want to put something out into the world and yeah, you hope people listen and you hope people watch and you hope people in, uh, are impacted by it. That's of course a huge motivating factor for doing it. But I just want to. I just want to be a voice for us as a generation.

And I want to hear your stories and share your stories and also share my stories, which can help you share your stories and help you be more comfortable putting shit out there. And so when I have guests on the show, uh, I love doing that as well. I loved talking to my friends, meeting new people via this show.

Um, And it's been awesome. And so I could go on and on and on about how much I love doing this and how much I love you guys and grateful for the support and for putting up with me throughout all my different moves and all my different mood swings. Because when you're young, uh, you change your mind all the time.

Right? I think I'm a remarkably different person than when I was just a year ago. And so, because of that, Uh, I am going to give you guys as we hit that 5,000 mark here in a week, two weeks, um, five for 5,000. So a little series that I'm calling where I'm going to do it here and on the turf, just short, quick essays that I, I have already written that I'm putting the finishing touches on and it's going to be five lessons.

Every day. So on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, we're going to have episodes and accompanying blog posts on the Troy Farkas where I just talk about five things that I have learned since I first started this podcast in September of 2020. And the heart of the pandemic is when I started.

Aliana and petty now Leon decel was my first guest, one of my best friends from childhood. Uh, but I did do a couple episodes before that, which by the way, if you go back and listen to now, I'm like, gosh, what the hell was that? What was I doing? That sounded terrible. That was, that was absolutely worthless.

And no one got any value from that, but somehow people listen. So if you want to go listen to like the September 3rd, 20, 20 episode, be my guests, but a five for 5,000 podcast website. Going to, uh, just talk about five things that I've learned, and it's not about things related to the podcast. It's just like what has happened since September, 2020 for me.

And what have I learned? Uh, and these are things that will definitely apply to you in your lives as well. Things about kindness and humility and, uh, hard work and motivation and discipline and determination and not, and not pushing yourself too hard. It's. Uh, just short episodes, short posts, and then, you know, I'll read the essays to you.

Like I love to do, and then I will, um, just pontificate on them for a little bit. So that's, what's coming up. I'm loving life for now. I'm in a really good spot in a really good spot. Um, so thank you guys for your support. For helping me get there. Um, I hope all of you are about to have a great week, um, that you're about to get outside.

That you're about to do shit. You love. I say this every week I've been at, I truly mean it. Like I'm just in such a mode right now of wishing the best for other people. Cause when you wish the best for other people, it, it makes you happier. It makes you feel good. It makes you feel like a better person past Troy would've.

Um, and here's a perfect example. Um, actually. Three-ish years ago when I was at ESPN. Right. I am just trying to move up and I'm trying to move fast and not, there's a bunch of people around my age that are on my level at work. And they're my competition, right? They're my friends, they're my coworkers.

We're in the trenches together, but they're also my competitors that were X number of us and only one. Full-time job. We were all part-time or in my case, I was a temporary contractor. And so I wanted to be full time and I was going to do whatever it took to get that. And I didn't care if they were my friends because when push came to shove, I was going to do whatever I needed to do to make sure I put myself in a position to get that job.

So I did and I, and I won. I ultimately won that battle. Um, and I'm proud of myself for doing. Had someone else won the battle though? I would've been pissed. I would have been furious. I would have been frustrated. I would have been not happy for that person. I would have said I was happy for that person, but I wouldn't have actually have been happy for that person fast forward to now.

And I'm one of those people that I, that I used to work with. Has just gotten a really good job somewhere else at a different company. And, uh, it kind of encroaches in the space that I am on, right. The space that I'm working in right now in my world of mixed martial arts. Right. But this is, this is the, the media world, the avenue that I work in.

And so, um, he's kind of encroaching on my space, my territory, but I couldn't be happier for him. And I mean that I'm not just saying that I feel that deep within me. I could not be happier for him. I know this is going to change his life. I know it's going to make him so much happier as a person personally, professionally, and I am ecstatic for him.

And I feel no sense of ill will towards. Whatsoever. We can work together rather than against one another. Right? Cause I'm so content with where I am right now. I don't feel the need to scratch and claw and tear other people down in order to make myself look better. Um, I'm so happy for him and this is just a Testament to growth, right?

You know, that's, that's what this is all about. That's what the show is all about. It's about growing and it's about becoming a better version of yourself and, uh, realizing the mistakes that you've made in the past and trying to do better and be better. And, uh, I hope you guys get that out of this show, that it offers you some opportunities to reflect and to ask questions about your own life.

You know, when you listened to me talk, does it, does it inspire you or does it make you think about something different? That's what I hope you can get out of this. Um, So, yeah, five for 5,000 coming in a couple of weeks. Have a great week. Guys love you like so much. Um, thanks for coming to the podcast, the website, the YouTube channel, subscribe on YouTube.

Tell your friends, rate the show on apple podcasts, do all that shit that you do. And, uh, I've got a great guest coming up this week. Someone I haven't met before, but I'm really excited to talk to this person. I think you guys will really. Enjoy this conversation as well. So peace out, have a great week.

Y'all love. Y'all talk to you soon.