April 19, 2021

social media: post what YOU want to post + AMA


Likes/favorites/retweets/views/clicks are all forms of validation, and it's a dangerous game we play. On today's episode, we discuss social media as social currency and how we can use it to be more authentic, not destructive. Plus, we take questions from listeners and Troy gets you up to speed on his latest Colorado adventures.

Book rec.: "What Made Maddy Run" by Kate Fagan.

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For more podcasts and blogs, check out TheTroyFarkasShow.com.

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Today's essay, also available as a video.

Picture this. You’ve scrolled through your camera roll and chosen three photos from your weekend that you really like. You take a few moments to select the right filters to make the images really pop. Then you make it to the final page. You’re one step away from sharing your photos with the world.

If you could just come up with the right caption, you’d be golden.

Your creative mind starts churning. You need something that sticks out, that might get a laugh. Something clever, unique and original. You type one out. “No, that’s not funny,” you tell yourself. Or, “No, that sounds corny,” and “No, that doesn’t fit my brand.”

You struggle to find something that your followers will like. You throw around a few more ideas but just can’t land on the right one.

So you close the app and forget this ever happened.

Why did you do that?

No, why do we do that?

I’ll tell you.

I signed up for a Myspace page in 6th grade. Then Facebook two years later, and Twitter a year after that, and then Instagram the next year. Vine had its moment, and TikTok seems here to stay.

We like to say the opinions of others don’t matter. We’d like to think that we’re fully confident in ourselves, that a like or a favorite means nothing to us. That the number of views don’t matter.

But then we post a photo. The notifications begin rolling in, and we get a rush. It’s a drug. We share something on our Story and check the analytics to see who’s viewed it, who’s shared it, who’s visited our profiles. Not just once, but several times throughout the Story’s 24-hour existence.

Yeah, keep saying people’s opinions don’t matter.

Of course they matter. We’ve practically been raised on this social currency. Likes and favorites and clicks and views are forms of approval, of validation. Everything we share needs to hit a certain number for us to feel good. And if that photo or tweet doesn’t perform as we had hoped, we take it down. We can’t possibly let a tweet with just one like exist on our page, right?

I’m beginning to change my way of thinking. Instagram is meant to share photos. It’s a place for artwork. Van Gogh and Picasso never stopped to consider if the world would approve of their work. No, they just painted what was in their hearts, in their souls. If I find a cool flower and want to share it with the world, who says I can’t? It won’t cut through the algorithms, but who really cares?

So let’s stop worrying about curating the perfect feed. It doesn’t exist. If we all are truly ourselves, and not portraying someone who we aren’t or wish to be, the world will be a better place. The toxicity that social media breeds would cease to exist.

Be yourself. Not someone else. Moving forward, I’m going to post things that make me happy, not you.

And I hope you join me in doing the same.

peace and love.

Transcript

Good morning, everyone. And welcome to another edition of the Troy Farkas show, a podcast that is not about me. It's about all of us. The twenties are a crucial time in our lives. And on this show, we navigate the highs and lows of early adulthood together. I hope you guys. All of the listeners out there. I hope you all had an amazing weekends that you were with friends, with family that you got outside, that you were active, that good food and good drinks were were in your weekends.

I realized I've been kind of keeping you guys in the dark about what I've been doing the last few weeks. So let me tell you what, let's back up a little bit. Last weekend, I went to Colorado Springs about an hour away from Denver. The drive there was immaculate. I got a rental car and it is amazing that I keep making it back each time from these places, because my eyes are just scattered across the landscape.

My eyes are never on the road because they're just so much amazing scenery. Whether it's the Rocky mountains, the front rage, whatever it is that I'm seeing, it's absolutely breathtaking. So I went to Colorado Springs, which was a lot smaller than I anticipated it being, but I went there for a hike to the Cheyenne mountain park.

I went on a hike there last Saturday and Sunday, the Sunday one was, it was a much shorter ones. I was kind of gas from the day before and all of the tens of thousands of steps I've been taking, then of course, brewery visits, coffee, shop visits, all of that good stuff. This weekend, Friday night, I just kind of chilled.

It was a long week. Saturday. I wanted to explore different parts of Denver that I hadn't. Been to yet, I've pretty much whether by foot or by bike or by light rail seen every inch of the city, but there are some really cool parts that are just on the outskirts of Denver that I had not been to yet. So I wanted to travel to those.

So one of those areas that's really cool is the Highlands low, high, lower Highlands is one of the cool places. One of the trendy places that a lot of people are living and 32nd and LOL is this. Intersection where there's a lot going on there. That's really cool. That was recommended to me to go check out.

So went to Denver union station, which by the way, is a really cool station. And also by the way, why is there no creativity and the naming of train stations? Because in Hartford it was union station and new Haven it's union station in Denver. It's a union station. So I don't know what's going on there.

There needs to be some more creativity in our naming of train stations, but I digress. Went into union station then walked on foot to low high, walked around the area. And sometimes this is a blessing in disguise, right in the pandemic, because you will have in your mind that you want to go one place. So there was this one coffee shop I had identified that looked really cool.

But it was really small and there was no social distancing that could really be done in it. So it was only open for takeaway. And that's not me. I want to sit inside. I want to read, I want to be there for an hour or two, get a baked. Good. And just chill and relax. Right. So the second place that looked really cool.

Also same type deal. Wasn't allowing me to sit inside. The third place was really cool and it ended up being what I imagined. Cooler than the first two places. It was like this little kind of like a house, honestly, with all these different rooms that you could just go sit in and read in. And so I, I get there and there's this really cool maybe Dutch family that is hanging out over there.

And they were really nice to me. And again, just to further. Um, further proof that people here are just so nice because we get into a conversation about things, about whatever. And, uh, I got a cinnamon roll. The, the lovely person, the lovely barista convinced me to get a cinnamon roll because I wanted a base.

Good. And she showed me this box of cinnamon. I'm a sucker for a good cinnamon roll. So I grabbed my cinnamon roll, grab my coffee, sit down, and then I'd read my book for half hour or so. And in that time, Dutch family had come out. And these two girls had come in and it's a very small room, so I can kind of overhear their conversations.

And so at one point I hear one of them mentioned the name, Jessica penny. For those of you who don't know, probably don't know, Jessica penny is a UFC fighter. She's really popular, but she's kind of obscure. So my ears kind of went up then I'm like, Oh, these girls know about Jessica penny. They must be serious fight fans.

And for those, you don't know when I was at ESPN, I worked on our UFC stuff. I become a big mixed martial arts fan as well. I don't really practice it, but I enjoy watching. I do some kickboxing for the exercise, but I really have no interest in hurting other people. But I hear them mention again about, Oh, they're going to watch fights tonight.

They're going to do this, this and this. And so then I say to them, Hey, are you guys fight fans? I couldn't help it over to hearing, but are you girls fight fans? And then we get into a long conversation about fighting and about our backgrounds turns out that they're just a couple years older than me, 27, 28, that they both had moved here.

To Denver from Seattle. They're both originally from Boston. They went Boston to Seattle pandemic kind of shortened their time in Seattle. Wasn't as fun. Didn't make sense. They come into Denver, kind of like me on a trial run to see whether they like it and they settle down and they invite me. They say, Hey, you should come to our gym, our jujitsu gym.

Uh, it's just around the corner. Now, keep in mind. I'm in low high, which is about 75 minutes, because again, I don't have a car with me. In total commute time. It's like 75 minutes for me to get there. They say, Hey, you should come to 10th planet jujitsu and do some jujitsu with us. This is how we have made all our friends here and we're kind of culty.

You should join us. And so in my mind, I'm thinking, huh? That's interesting. These girls seem really cool. I would love to get to know them because I would love to make friends with them, but I'm like in my head, is it worth going 75 minutes to go do something I've never done before jujitsu, which is a completely different mixed martial art.

The only mixed martial arts that I have an interest in is kickboxing or Moya Tai. Not. Jujitsu not wrestling. I never wanted to get on the ground and roll around with someone and kick them off of me, whatever, but I'm, I'm considering it. Should I go, I'll leave this up to the listeners. Should I go 75 minutes to go do jujitsu, a martial art, put myself in harm's way.

To try to impress two girls and make friends with two girls and perhaps more, let me know, leave it in the comments of this episode, wherever DME, whatever. So that was my weekend on Saturday. I, again continued back to our Vada, which is another historic old town Arvada historic section of Denver. I went there.

That was really cool. It was, um, in the early 1910s, just kind of a big mining place, which is the theme that I'm running into in Colorado. Big on mining. And then I went back to Denver to go to this restaurant, heard about now, Mexican food is huge den next as it's called that's the that's like the main food group here is dead Macs, but Lafayette sta not to be confused with the great Lafayette sta and Clifton park is supposedly the place I'd heard.

It had come recommended to me from my uncle. I'd heard about it on a podcast. So I said, I need to go to Lafayette sta and I go there Saturday night. And they had just opened this place has been open for a decade plus, and they just opened for dinners on Saturday night, they're open four to nine 30. I get there like six there's, only three people in the building.

It's great. And so I'm saying to myself, Oh, this is kind of diabetes. This is going to be good. And so green Chile is the Denver. Mexican food thing, green chili, you put it on, you put it on anything. Honestly, you put on your tacos or burritos, your enchiladas, whatever, whatever it is that you can smother green chili on you do it.

So I had never had green chili. I was waiting for the perfect opportunity. I've been to Mexican restaurants in Denver so far and in Colorado. So far that was waiting for the perfect green chili opportunity. And this seemed like it. And I got to say. I put it on my burrito bowl and it was fantastic. I cannot lie.

It was fantastic little kick to it, but not too much. It was great. So that was my Saturday, Sunday kind of chilled. I ate so much bad stuff on Saturday, the cinnamon roll, the green chili and all this stuff don't know how many calories I ate. So Sunday. Great workout and a kickboxing workout. Mind you, and basically just bought everything at sprouts to try and make myself feel better.

Uh, with vegetables. That was my weekend. I also finished my book. I read this book and this is the reason why I don't have any quote today because this book, what made Maddy run. If you listen to my episode with Ben sips and way back when in December, I mentioned this book, when we were giving books recommendations, it is my absolute favorite book in the world.

I read it every April, because I believe it is so important, um, for, for me to read and for all young people to read, honestly, if you need a good book, it's a breeze. It, it takes me a week or two to read it front to back 300 pages. Every single time you can read it. And faster than that, someone who I'd recommended to told me that they read it in two or three days, it is an amazing book.

About mental health, about social media, about transitions that we go through from high school to college, from college to the adult world and how hard it is and how much harder it is right now than it has ever been before. And it's a tragic story. It's a sad story, but it's a book that, you know, at the very beginning, what the ending of it is, But it's how you get there.

That is thrilling. And that makes you think. And so on Wednesday, I'm going to actually do a YouTube video, um, right. Lead some of my favorite passages and favorite quotes from this book and then talk about them because it is just so darn powerful. And I think all of you that are listening to this podcast, because if you are, you clearly care about self-improvement and getting better in this time in our lives.

This is an absolute must read. So I, I recommend that you read what made Maddy run by Kate Fagan. And I recommend that you check me out on a Wednesday over on the Trey Farkas YouTube channel, but on to today's essay here, which is partly inspired by that book and partly inspired. By the conversation that I had last week with Jasmine Noonan on Thursday's podcast.

I love that conversation. Great respect for her and everything that she said. I mostly agree with everything she said. I do have to push back on one thing. If you take a look at her IgG page, it is indeed a highlight reel. It is always her in her best light. She's always got a tan drink in hand. She looks great.

It is a highlight reel. And I had asked her. You know, is your life as good as it appears? She said no, but Instagram is a highlight reel. I'm not going to put any negativity out there or show that, you know, my life isn't perfect. And this is just my opinion. This is my view of social media and partly, and part of what made Maddy run this book is that.

Every one does make it a highlight reel. And when you are making it a highlight reel, you are forcing other people to view it as such and then to take stock of their own lives and ask themselves and compare, why is my life not as good as this person's why am I not as happy as this person appears to be in that photo?

And so that has me thinking, and this is just kind of why mental health and depression and anxiety are running rampant right now among our generation and below us now is because there's all of this stuff that we're seeing on social media. We're seeing that people's lives are perfect, that these perfectly curated feeds are out there.

And we. Ask ourselves and beat ourselves over. Why am I not happy? I supposedly have a lot of good things going for me, but why am I not happy? And I feel that way. Sometimes I've got a lot going for me, but sometimes I'm not happy. Um, and right now, I mean, I'm having good days and I'm having bad days. And so on my own social media, I am keeping in the back of my mind.

I don't want to post a photo and give off the impression that everything is perfect. A couple of weeks ago, you know, I posted the photos and as I was talking to various friends throughout, they said, Oh yeah, you seem happy. I said, I mean, yes I am, but I'm not, I'm not, I've been happier before. I've been in happier States of buying before.

Everything's not perfect right now. I'm a little lonely and I'm questioning my life's direction. And now, you know, I'm reinventing myself again. I feel like I reinvented myself a five times in the last five years. It's just always happening. I'm never perfectly content with who I am and I feel like I need to have everything figured out in my life before age 30, that beyond age 30, I'm going to have a set.

Identification of who I am and what I stand for. And, and that, that can't change. Meanwhile, of course, I know that. You know, I may never get there that we're always going to be changing. We're always going to be evolving, but for whatever reason, I can't get past the idea that I don't have it all figured out right now.

And that that's a problem. And I think social media fuels that it fuels that anxiety that we all feel. And so when I, things going forward, I don't want to give off the impression that life is perfect because it's not. And. I don't want to put out negative vibes out there. Of course. I don't want to find out, put out negative thoughts, but I do want to, whether it's in the caption or in the photo, whatever, just subtly put out there that, Hey, like this isn't perfect.

Okay. My life is not perfect. Not at all. And I think, and my girl Kelsey had said, when I had her on my show in December, she had said, let's just be real. And I, I tend to agree with that more. Let's be real, not the highlight real version. The actual let's be us. Let's show life as it actually is not what we want it to be.

And when you are not being real, you are lying. You're lying to yourself and you're lying to other people. And so that doesn't sit well with me. And that it's kind of the, the motivation behind today's essay, uh, which is called social media. Post where you want to post. And also on the back end of this, going to talk about it a little more, do an AMA.

So stay tuned for that. But here's the essay

you scroll through your cam roll and shows in three photos from your weekend that you really like. You take a few moments to select the right filters, to make the images really pop. Then you make it to the final page. You're one step away from sharing your photos with the world. If you could just come up with the right caption, you'd be golden.

Your mind starts churning. You need something that sticks out that might get a laugh, something clever, unique, and original. He type one out. Well, that's not funny. You tell yourself, no, that sounds corny. Eh, that doesn't fit my brand. You struggle to find something that your followers would like, you throw around a few more ideas, but you just can't land on the right one.

So you closed the app and forget this ever happened. Why did you do that? No. Why do we do that?

I'll tell you,

I signed up for my space page in sixth grade, then Facebook two years later and Twitter a year after that. And then Instagram, the next year vine had this moment and tic talks seem sure to stay.

we like to say the opinions of others don't matter. We'd like to think that we're fully confident in ourselves that alike or a favorite means nothing to us. That the number of views don't matter. But then we post a photo. The notifications begin rolling in and we get a rush to drug. We share something on our story and check the analytics to see who's viewed it.

Who shared it? Who's visited our profiles. Who's clicked the link in our bios. Not just once, but several times throughout the stories. 24 hour existence. Yeah. Keep saying people's opinions. Don't matter. Of course they matter. We practically been raised on this social currency. Likes and favorites and clicks and views performance of approval of validation.

Everything we share needs to hit a certain number for us to feel good. And if that photo or tweet doesn't perform, as we had hoped, we take it down. We can't possibly let a tweet with just one, like exist on our page. Right.

I'm beginning to change my way of thinking.

Instagram has meant to share photos. It's a place for artwork, van Gogh and Picasso never stopped to consider as the world would approve of their work. Now they just painted what was in their hearts and their souls. If I find a cool flower and want to share it with the world who says I can't. It won't cut through the algorithms, but who really cares?

So let's stop worrying about curating. The perfect feed doesn't exist. We are not perfect if we are all truly ourselves and not portraying someone we aren't or wished to be the world will be a more real place, more genuine. The toxicity that social media breeds would cease to exist

yourself. There's only one of you. There's only one of me and moving forward, I'm going to post things that make me happy.

And I hope you join me in doing the same.

It's that simple. Just be you. I've gotten this inspiration. Let's I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie here. I've gotten this inspiration from Gary Vee I don't know how many of you know Gary Vee but if you don't know, Gary Vee you should go follow him on all the platforms right now, his name's Gary Vaynerchuk. He's, you know, an American typhoon, um, in business, in entrepreneurship, in technology, he's on the front lines of a lot of changes that that are happening, but, uh, he's in his forties.

He's very, very wealthy, man. He invested in Twitter. Uber early investor in those things. So he's a genius. And most of the content that he puts out is kind of geared toward people, outrage and especially toward creators and, um, you know, yeah. Like go check them out. Gary Vee Instagram, especially he's great.

Puts out some good stuff, has good podcasts as well. Um, and he's really inspiring to me. And he's been kind of been the, you know, the famous role model that I've been looking up to in terms of how I frame what I do and what I put out there. He basically says. Post, what you want to post put out? What makes you happy?

Don't think about the number of likes you're going to get on something. Don't let that drive your decision. If you want to post something, if you want to share it with the world, because it makes you happy or because you like it, or because you think it looks cool. Not because you know, someone else will think it looks cool because you think it looks cool post that.

Share what you want to share with the world. Be open, be honest, be yourself. Don't be someone else create stuff for you, not for someone else. So that's what I'm going to be doing. Going forward. I tweet something. I don't care that it gets zero likes. I'm going to, I'm going to keep it up there. I'm not going to delete it on Instagram.

I'm going to post not, not clever messages, you know, that are like that. Make no sense that are funny, whatever. I'm just gonna post what I want to post. I'm going to say what I want to say, and I'm going to take great pride in that. I'm going to be very genuine and I don't care if. You were the listener, the viewer, the reader, whatever.

Doesn't like it, I'm not going to cater to you. I'm going to put out what I want to put out. And I want to encourage all of you to do that as well, because the faster that we can all do that, the faster that we can all create for us one, the happier we'll be. The more confident we'll be. And two, if we're not creating for other people, That's better too.

Right? We don't want to create for other people because who cares about trying to impress other people? We need to impress ourselves first. We needed to be fully confident in ourselves. You need to be fully aware of who we are, not what other people want us to be. So that's my challenge to you. Whatever. I don't care.

You can say, yes, , I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to continue trying to post for other people. I want likes, I want views. I'm on clicks. I want engagement. Right? Whatever. That's fine. I'm not going to judge you, dude. Your thing, right? All I'm saying is that I want to be real. And yeah, I know I I'm an idealist, right?

I think when you're young, you kind of are, this is what I am. This is how I view the world. I haven't had so much of this beaten out of me yet. This is what is so great about being young is that your mind is still capable of being molded, of being changed. You're still open. You're not stuck in your ways.

And so I am saying. I'm going to post what I want to post and you don't have to agree with me. You can say, Troy screw, you don't care what you think. And that's fine. I'm open to that. I accept that. I accept that. Everyone's not going to argue with me. I accept that other people will go on thinking that Instagram's a highlight reel and that everything on social media should be great.

And that you should perfectly put out the image that you want other people to think of you as I don't feel that way. But this is a free country. You can feel how you feel and I can feel how I feel. So, whatever it is that you want to do, I support you. And I hope you support me as well. Uh, so we feel that a couple of questions it's called an AMA.

Uh, this is something that I've been wanting to do. We, we will do more things like this on the future, Cara and I, Kara collected some questions on the Troy Parker show, IgE accounts I collected. Um, a few from, from mine as well. So let me pull up one of these questions. Um, Kara, thank you for, for the assist here and for gathering these questions.

So the first one comes from Sarah. Sarah asked me what is the coolest place you've lived. Great question, Sarah. Thank you for that. The coolest place I've lived, I've lived in a lot of cool places in my short life, you know? Pretty much since the U Albany days I've lived in Connecticut. I did spend that summer in college in Oneonta.

Now, Oneonta, it was, it was a cool experience because, um, I was in an internship program at the baseball hall of fame. And so Cooperstown, small town, baseball heaven, 40 minute drive away from Oneonta. And Cooperstown is cool, but I lived in Oneonta. Oneonta is whatever, but it was really fun because we had the entire campus to ourselves.

It was in the summer, it was vacant. So that was fun. Oneonta's not my answer, but that is a cool place I lived. I mean, I think, listen, the coolest place I lived with Scotland, right? When I lived in Glasgow, Scotland for a couple months in the fall of 2016, absolutely loved it. It showed me, it taught me one very valuable lesson.

And it is that we, as human beings are very adaptable to our situations and that you may think that you cannot make it through one situation, but after you get used to a little bit, you totally forget that thing that you were dreading and that then you adjust. And here's what I mean. So when I moved to Glasgow, my flat.

That I lived with like 10 other people was a 35 minute walk away from campus from the campus, which was sprawled throughout the city. And I was not a Walker then, like I am now, I was not as active as I am now. I said, I've had a 35 minute walk every morning and every night what's that about? That's craziness.

I can't do that. I have to, you know, I'm going to have to stay on campus all day. I can't go home in between classes and whatever. And so. I was like, Oh, am I going to have to get a bike? Then I said, ah, it was kind of hilly. I didn't want to ride a bike. I'm guessing I'm going to have to walk. There was no bus.

And first three, four days it sucked. I complained, but then I just got used to it. I completely forgotten that I was even upset about it in the first place you adapt your situation. So I loved walking through the city of Glasgow every day, a historic ancient medieval city. In Scotland. I loved being there.

The weather wasn't great. Of course, this is what the UK is known for about it being dreary and rainy and cloudy all the time, but it was really cool place to be the people that were so nice and being an American there, they think you're cool. So that was the coolest I'd ever felt when cause all these people wanted to talk to me.

So I love living in Glasgow, Scotland. So, uh, Sarah, that was. That's definitely the answer because, you know, I lived in the West end. You, you go to the city center, which was just this really cool place for shopping and eating. And then the West end was really cool itself. That's where we did a lot of our partying.

We did it in the city center as well. Glasgow is the answer. Next question comes from Matt. Matt asks, what time period or location would you like as the setting for a novel. With me as the protagonist, Matt, that is a tough question. And I appreciate it. And knowing you, Matt, uh, I think you will appreciate the answer to this question.

I would definitely want to be a Patriot during the whole lead up to the American revolution. Right. I think that would be so cool being I'm kind of a rebel in nature already. So going against the tyranny, going against King George, going against the red coats and. Dumping tea into the Boston Harbor and all of that cool stuff that was happening then tarring and feathering and whatever, all of the crazy stuff that was happening, then I think that would be a really cool place to be the protagonist where maybe, uh, I'm leading a group of rebels against the British, whether it's in the war or bef just before the war.

I think that would be really cool. And then kind of, it's a story. It's a book, a novel about me. Leading various different groups of people. So before the war, I'm leading, you know, kind of like the anti Britain, I'm leading that charge. And then during the war, I'm leading people in battle in combat and I'm guiding my people.

I'm guiding my troops and we're, you know, and I being someone I, this is basically, basically, I just want to be George Washington is what we're getting at here. Basically. I want to be George Washington. And then after the war is won, after I've led the troops. Well, after I've led the people in that been a beacon of hope and inspiration and love and positivity and all of these things, then I want you to transition to, okay, how can we set up something that is lasting that is permanent?

How can we make all of this worth it? Basically, I want to be George Washington in the 1760s, seventies, eighties, nineties. Think that would've been really cool. Uh, next question here comes from. Sierra. Thank you. Sierra Sierra asked me what inspired you to start the podcast? Well, Sierra I've always wanted to do podcasts for a number of years.

I first wanted to maybe three years ago, but I, I didn't know what I wanted to do and I didn't really feel I was ready or polished enough to do it. Didn't have the confidence in me to do it as a host or producer. Um, And I'm actually talking, there's a podcast. Um, coming out later this week that I was on where I kind of addressed this, but I've always felt that I'm at my best when I'm performing.

For people all throughout my life, whether it was as an athlete. So on the court, on the field, whether it was as a singer, I used to sing opera. So when I was on this stage and then when I was in college and when I was in musical theater, I loved public speaking. Always loved public speaking. Yeah. I got nervous for presentations and whatnot got butterflies, just like everyone else, but I absolutely loved it.

I loved the process and I loved getting up there and speaking in front of people. I know I'm one of the few crazy ones who actually enjoyed doing it. But I did. I always loved that. And so I've just always been wanting to perform for people, whether it is writing, you know, I've had various blogs throughout the years and now this podcast, I love putting stuff out there for people to learn from, to argue against, to criticize, to praise, to absorb, and to think about, and then maybe interact with me.

About, I absolutely love that. I live for that. And I know when I'm at my best, it is when I'm doing things like that. So that's kind of the heart behind why I want to do the podcast. And then this very specific podcast, I just, since I entered the adult world have been so focused on self-improvement and getting better and just figuring out how to be an adult.

And it's hard. It's not easy. And I felt like on the only one going through this, but I know that's not, I know it's not true. And there's all these things that I tell myself that I freak out about in my own mind all the time that I think this is just happening to me in reality, it's not. And so I wanted to talk about those things, whether it's with myself, like I am right now or talking with, with guests, with, with people that I know that I don't know.

So that's kind of what inspired me to start the podcast. So thank you for that question Sierra much. Appreciate it. Uh, what else do we have here? We have a question from Ariel, my guy, Ariel, who, uh, I used to work with. I should have him on the show at some point I would like to do that, but he asked me what happened to screenless Saturday.

This is a great question. Thank you. So if you listen to the Troy's broccoli a few weeks ago, you heard Connor mentioned screenless Saturday. So what screenless Saturday is, is that on a Saturday? You're your off day. You're off of work. Whatever you just go without a screen, you go without your phone without TV, without computers.

That means no email, no social media, no shows, no sporting events, whatever. And it's supposed to inspire you to, okay, you put all this stuff away, you go out into nature or you go to a new town, explore, you get with people you get together and you hang out by the pool just without screens. Just talking to each other, you know, like people used to just to talk to each other and get to know each other and do things.

And or if you're by yourself, just think like, Read write, reflect, whatever it is. That was kind of the idea behind screen the Saturday. And so I was doing that for a solid year and it was great. And I looked forward to it every, every week because we spent so much time in front of screens on social media, at work emails.

And of course there's just obvious, you know, bad physical, um, health detriments because of that and mental health. Detriments of, of horse as we've spoken about on today's episode. And so I very much looked forward to that reprieve every week. I would love getting on my bike and just going for miles and miles and miles on the Connecticut trail.

So I loved it and I look forward to it every weekend. And most times I would, I would usually not make it the entire day. I would usually kind of make it last, like the Workday. So from the moment I wake up through like 6:00 PM, And then, you know, I'm a UFC fan, UFC fights are on Saturday nights and I want to watch those.

So then I would slowly bring things back in, but still be very deliberate with it. Now I had stopped doing screenless Saturday once the pandemic hit, because obviously that was the only way to connect with people. And then, you know, all the craziness was happening. You want it to be connected to people.

This was not the time to. Be a hermit and get into your own show. Right? So I veered away from skiing last Saturday, early on in the pandemic. Then later on in the pandemic, I actually had to start working on Saturday. So of course I had to be using the screen so that wasn't fun. And then right now on Saturdays, I go long stretches of time without using or looking at my phone.

But. Like, I'm kind of lonely right now and you need to connect with people. And so I do stay in touch with people, whether it's on Snapchat, whether it's some text messages on Saturdays, I, um, or, you know, an Instagram DM, someone messages me about the show, whatever it is, I don't. Basically screen the Saturday has gone away.

I want it to come back, but right now is not the right time because I need that connection. The original idea behind screenless Saturday, the point of it was to, we are so connected that we need to disconnect. I don't feel super connected right now, so I need to connect. But when I get to a point, hopefully soon I'm praying hopefully soon.

Right? I feel happy and at peace and I I'm hoping that I get back there. So Ariel screenless, Saturday is gone right now. On the back burner, but I hope I can get, get it back, but that's not to say that all of you should not partake in it because it is truly a special thing once you, once you feel stressed.

Last question today comes from Kelsey. Thank you, Kelsey. Kelsey's question. What is the number one quality you look for in a friend? A great question, Kelsey, I think, I mean, you probably had a similar conversations about this before. Number on quality. I look for in a friend I would say is reliability. I've been getting screwed over for lack of a better term by friends, my whole life.

Um, I have very low expectations for people whenever I make plans with someone, whenever whatever I always expect. To be disappointed. I expect someone to not show up. I expect someone to, you know, be there, but not really be there. They're distracted by their phone all the time or whatever. I expect someone to cancel.

And then I expect, you know, I expect someone to call me and then they don't, this has been happening for me. Forever. I expect someone to reach out to me when they're supposed to, when they don't. I expect someone to ask me to hang out at this time when they're supposed to. And they don't, this has been happening to me my entire life.

Not asking for sympathy. That's just the way it is. I've accepted this. So I have low expectations for people. There's few people that I can rely on. And so that is what I look for in friends. Can I rely on you? Will you be. Where you say you're going to be, will you make promises that you can actually keep, those are the things I look for in a friend is reliability.

Are you there for me? And conversely, like, I'll be there for you. I will give you all of these things. This is what I always say. Right? I always give more of myself to other people than I expect in return. I don't expect because I've been disappointed so many times because I've been screwed over so many times.

I expect to be disappointed, but I'm never going to do that. Same thing to you. That is my number one. Quality is a friend. Is that I'm reliable. I will be there for you. I will check in on you. I will see how you're doing. I want some of that happening, especially right now, again, like I just said, I'm feeling a little lonely feeling, a little disconnected.

I would love if more people would reach out to me and see how I'm doing because I'm not doing okay if you haven't gathered, sometimes I'm not doing okay. Uh, not to over exaggerate, but Kelsey, thank you for that question. Thank you all for listening. A little bit a longer Monday episode today, got an exciting episode coming up on Thursday with a girl that I used to work with.

Very excited for that. Um, So you can download subscribe to the Trey Parker show. We've got episodes, new episodes, Mondays and Thursdays. 5:00 AM Eastern time. It'll hit your feed. Kara also post videos of all these podcasts and highlights and clips. The all natural initiative on our YouTube channel. Trey Farkas.

Remember the Troy Fox show.com is your one-stop shop. It's a great setup over there. It really is. It looks really cool. We got podcasts. We got videos. We got blogs. Yeah. We want to have this new, new YouTube video on Wednesday talking about some cool quotes. So all that good stuff is going on. And remember, if you'd like to show, you can review it on Apple podcasts, search the Troy Parker show bottom of the page.

Write a review. Five stars would be great. Really helps the show, please, please, please. If you like the show at all. Do that really helps me out really helps us grow the show and get these messages about, about youth and growing up and positivity and all these things, um, gets it out to the world. And so that's a, that's what we want.

And remember, you can check us out at the tree frog show, IgG, Tik, TOK, we're all those places putting out cool stuff. Pretty much every day. We'll be back on Thursday, new episode fungus. But until then,