June 29, 2021

the most present I've ever been: a weekend recap.

the most present I've ever been: a weekend recap.

On today's episode, I talk about an unforgettable weekend and why Friday night was the happiest I've felt in a long time.

If you enjoyed today's episode, please consider reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts. You can also visit TheTroyFarkasShow.com for all of the latest blogs and podcasts.

peace and love.


Good evening everyone. And welcome in to another episode of The Troy Farkas Show, a podcast that is not about me. It's about all of us. The twenties are a crucial time in our lives. And on this show, we navigate the highs and lows of early adulthood together. Thank you for joining me. It is Tuesday evening that I am dropping this episode.

As I've established over the last couple of weeks, things were going to be a little. A little more fluid, not going to be so set on the Monday, Thursday thing, not going to be so set on a structured format in terms of a Monday, as saying a Thursday podcast is going to be all over the place. Maybe one episode a week, maybe three, maybe an interview, maybe no interview kind of just going on what's that we can tailor is what my heart wants and what my mind thinks is right.

And thinks is right for, for all of you guys. So today, What I want to talk about first. I hope you all had a great weekend, um, that you got outside. They did things that you love, that you had some new experiences had some good drinks, got some sunlight. It was dumb hot here in the Northeast. And so that was quite unfortunate.

So muggy and humid. And I know I'm going to sound like such a spoiled traveling brat when I say this, but I was so spoiled by the lack of humidity in Colorado and Arizona. 6%, 10, 15, 20%, which is super low. Then coming back to the Northeast or this weekend, it's 65, 70, 80% humidity. And it's absolutely disgusting.

This is stuff. Before I had gone out west, I'd never really batted an eye at, but now I go outside. I'm like, oh my God, I cannot take this. This is disgusting. So now I've sound super privileged saying that, but regardless, I hope you guys all had a great weekend. I had a really good weekend as well. It was my dad's 60th birthday.

He celebrated it on Monday, but he kind of makes his birthday a several days of fare. It's kind of a national holiday. And the Farkas family. So we did a bunch of stuff. We went bowling, we went hiking dad and I played tennis. My brother came from Vermont. He and my dad went golfing a couple of times. We went to Bentley's, which those of you who don't know.

Sister or brother restaurant of the rusty nail, which does your age in wings, chicken wings for free, um, and some beverages besides that, it's a great deal. So went to, Bentley's got the 60 wings. I didn't have any, because Alaska was not a cheat day and I hit myself for it. This is the life I've chosen the lip.

Uh, it was a really good weekends, but the highlight of the weekend was on Friday. As I alluded to you guys on last Thursday's episode, that Liana Jiampetti, a lifelong best friend of mine was getting married on Friday to Sam Decelle, whom she met. I think when she was 17, 18 years old, he's got a year or two on her.

They met at summer camp. It's this awesome love story where, uh, she Liana famously went home to her parents or to her friend's parents and said, I just met the man I'm going to marry. And then there was actually some, some thing there were saying. Asked her out three times before she finally said yes, and they were on and off a little bit in college, but they eventually found their way back to each other.

Now they are married. Finally married after some delays. Thanks to COVID. They've been engaged for about three years, I think. And so they finally got married, super happy for them, and it was such a memorable night. And before I really dive into what made it so memorable and so special, I want to read this essay to you that I just published today.

I wrote this morning at five 30 and I was just super, super inspired by this weekend. And so I really wanted to write something about it. So, um, here's this essay which is over on TheTroyFarkasShow.com called "the most present I have ever been," here we go.

Last Friday, my longest-standing friend married the man of her dreams.

We celebrated the occasion at the Saratoga Hall of Springs, an absolutely breathtaking wedding hall that sits a hundred yards away from the stage at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center, the world-renowned concert venue where my best friends and I spent our summers singing, laughing, dancing and making memories.

The location (and wedding song - “You and Me” by Dave Matthews Band) was fitting.

For one night, it felt like nothing had changed. Like we were the same dumb kids who floated about SPAC without a care in the world.

But of course, everything has changed.

We’re adults now. We have careers. We’re scattered across the Northeast. One childhood best friend is now married. Another is engaged. Another is in a serious relationship.

Of course we’ll always be best friends. That will never change.

But I’ve seen this film before.

First comes marriage. And then kids. And moves across the country.

Priorities change. Habits change. People change.

In reality, there won’t be many more chances for us to gather in the same room again.

So I understood the gravity of the moment; nothing else mattered Friday night.

All that mattered was the bride and groom, my beautiful date, and the three amazing women whose friendships I hold so dearly to my heart.

We drank. 

We laughed.

We sang.

We took photos.

And we danced. A lot.

As someone who constantly rethinks yesterday and worries about tomorrow, staying in the moment is a struggle for me.

But for one night, finally, I felt like I belonged in the right place at the right time.

It was the most present I’ve ever been.

And the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.

Something tells me one can’t exist without the other.

Congratulations, Liana and Sam, and I wish you both endless years of happiness on your new journey together.

So that is called the most present I've ever been over on the Troy Farkas show.com to get into this more deeply. Leanna G and petty. Now Leanna. Is my longest standing friendship in terms of the friendships that I still have to do. She is the one that I have known and been friends with for the longest we met when we were three years old, it's three or four years old.

Um, we were in the same summer camp together and she chased me around the room every day, trying to kiss me. And I want to know part of it. I'm now kicking myself about that because Liana's a dime. Is and always has been, uh, so I want to know part of it and we were pretty close growing up. I think after, after our little love affair there, or lack of a love affair at age four, we parted ways for a little bit, but we went to the same elementary school and we got close there and then we're close in middle school.

And then she went away to a different school for a bit, came back to high school and then was reintegrated into our friend group. And then we made so many great memories senior year of high school. And in college and she's best friends with my best friend, Shannon McNall, Taylor Hennigan, who happened to be her co maids of honor for the wedding.

And so it's, these are just three girls that I care so much about. There's so much history there. I've been so close with all of them for so long Shannon and Liana especially. And then Taylor. Entered our collective lives in middle school when we all were under the same roof at Koda before. And I just have so much love individually and collectively for all of them and to be in the same room for once the last time that I was in the same room with all of them at the same time was when we all went out and Toga route this time two years ago.

So, I mean, we're going long stretches of time. Without being under the same roof together. Now, the girls have been together, um, doing various wedding things and bachelorette trips and various parties. So they have been able to get together, but I haven't been able to join them as much as I would've liked to, but they mean so much to me.

And I absolutely treasure the moments that we get to be together when we went out a couple of years ago and Toga, that meant the world to me. And so I was so looking forward to this. Events. And I know Liana was too because of how long it had been delayed, but I was looking so forward to it because I just could not wait to be with these girls who I love so much and care about so much and would do anything for, and I know that no matter what.

Wherever, all of us go for our lives are all going to take us different directions. Leon and Sam moving down to Florida in the fall. Um, Shannon's in medical school right now. And her job is going to take her somewhere and who the fuck knows where I'm going to be, who knows where Taylor's going to be. Uh, wherever her life takes her.

Um, I knew this night was going to be really special because these times that we have together, like I said, in the, in the post office, Are limited. There are few and far between, and they're only going to get more limited as we grow older, which is an unfortunate part of flight, but also a beautiful part of life.

It means that we're all onto two big things. Then we're all doing our own thing and finding out who we are, where we belong. And that is also beautiful too, but it does come with the cost of, you know, the people that, that have meant so much to you for so long, you don't get to spend as much time with. And so I was very conscious of that when I was there and just try to be in the moment as much as I could.

I didn't have my phone. I wasn't, you know, snapping videos and photos of everything for as beautiful as everything was. And as much as I wanted to document it and look back on it, I just so needed to be there. I needed to be with my people and their plus ones and the families of these kids that I've grown up with wanting to be out on the dance floor, just having a good time, celebrating Sam and Liana and their new journey together.

And so I wanted to be fully. There with them all. And, um, I'm so glad I was, it was so much fun, some of the best fun that I've had in some time. And there's just something so freaking amazing about being about seeing the people that you love and care about from your past interact with. New people in the present.

And basically what I'm saying here is Taylor's got a plus one. She has a boyfriend. Um, Shannon is engaged. Actually. Shannon has gotten engaged since we last had her on the podcast in December. She got engaged shortly after that. So it is so cool. Me talking. To John, which is Shannon's fiance, me talking to Lou, which is Taylor's boyfriend.

And then my, my plus one Kelsey, she was there talking to Lou, talking to Jon, to Shannon, to Taylor. It is so beautiful. That all of these people have been brought into our lives when Shannon and Taylor and I are on the boat to Ellis island in eighth grade, we have no idea who all these people are that are going to be entering our lives one day.

And so I just think it's so cool and so amazing that I can be in the room, sit back and watch my date interact with. My best friends and their dates. That is so cool. That is something that is so otherworldly beautiful to me. And I felt so grateful in that moment. And just so like, awe-struck that this was happening before my eyes.

And so that was really cool to see. And the wedding was just. The wedding was just amazing. It really was great people. The food was fantastic open bar. So that's always makes for a good time. Lou and I were bonding over some vodka cranberries, like we're 18 year old women again. Uh, but that we truly had much fun and dancing.

You know, you just gotta go out and have a good time. Right? Who cares if you're good or bad, you just gotta have a good time, uh, fast dancing to some Bruno Mars, little Cupid shuffle. Did some slow dancing, which is really good and really fun. I may or may not have stepped on a couple of toes, but I digressed.

And, uh, it was just a really good, really good time. And, um, I think the lesson that I want to impart on all of you is that to be, you know, there's a lot of moments in our lives, whether it's things from her past, um, you know, friendships that we have. Or experiences that we have that are going to get few and far between as we get older things that we used to do all the time, we're either too old for too busy for, this is just how life works.

Um, so those moments are fleeting and they are dwindling. And we will not get to do them as much as we would like to, as we get older, that's just how it is. We say, oh, we're going to catch up. Oh, let's get together. Oh, I'll come visit. You you'll come visit me. But I just know in reality, those things aren't going to happen as much as we would all like them to.

So I am very aware of that. And I think all of you need to be aware of that as well as you go forward here in the next couple of years, it is critical to when you are presented with moments. With opportunities. Like I was at this wedding. When you were presented with those opportunities to gather with the people you love, doing the things you love, where you love to do them, you have to be fully immersed, fully present.

Be there, bring your best version of you there, and you can create an amazing memory out of it. I think that's what I did. I was fully cognizant of the fact that I might not get to be with these people. Um, or when I am, it will be one of the last times. You never know when life is going to be taken from you.

I mean, again, not to get more a bit, but back to these ideas of Memento mori, these principles that I've been talking about about how you can leave this earth at any time that you need to make the most of it. Um, that's really important. And that's my advice to you is just when you're presented with these moments that, um, you're not sure how many of them there's going to be.

They are finite and they are fleeting. Be there. I've never been more present than when I was at this wedding. And there is a tie between presence and happiness. You cannot be present without having some sort of happiness in your life. And I don't think you can be happy without having presence without being able to be there in the moment, locked in and not thinking about everything else.

This is one of the things that I struggle with the most in this world is just being there with people. Not freaking out about this job thing that went wrong earlier this week, not worrying about where I'm going to be living tomorrow in the next couple of weeks. Cause these are all things that I don't know.

There's so much uncertainty that comes with being a freelance podcast producer, which allows me to live wherever I want, which is like, okay, where the heck do I choose? It's such a tough decision. And you know, my paychecks are sometimes some weeks that are great other weeks. They're not. So that just throws.

A whole other wrench into it. So there's so much uncertainty in my life. And so with that, uncertainty comes a lot of opportunities to freak out about things and to worry and to be anxious and to be confused. And it allows space for you to not be present. And I'm constantly trying to tell myself every day, just be present, be present, be here, stop worrying.

It'll be fine. But last I know all of these things that I've been saying on the podcast for. For months. I know how to live a great life, but executing it is easier said than done. I'm still trying to get there. And I hope that Friday night when I was the most present I've ever been, that it can be a good stepping stone to being more present in other situations as I go forward, I didn't want to be anywhere else that night.

I didn't want to be with anyone else that night. I wasn't thinking about anything. Other than salmon Liana, how happy I am for them, how much I love Liana and respect her and was grateful that she wanted me to be in on her night, her big night, that she spent so long planning, really, since she was age five, I'm sure.

And spent so much time dreaming about, I just wanted her to enjoy. And I wanted all the best for her and for Sam and for Liana and Sam's families and for their friends. And I hope everyone just had a good fucking time making memories that will last a lifetime. And, um, it was really special and I didn't want to be anywhere else.

I didn't want to be with anyone else. I wanted to be with three of my favorite people in the world. Shannon Taylor, Liana and Kelsey. Um, my date who. Fantastic was lovely. She looked beautiful and I didn't want to be anywhere else. I wanted to be there with her. I wanted to be there with my friends, with my friend's parents.

Shout out Jerry, Suzanne, Walt Carol y'all know who you are. You guys are awesome. And the whole night was awesome. Leanna, Sam, I hope you guys are enjoying your honeymoon and, uh, that you guys can get back here safely and begin your life together and enjoy your license Florida in the fall when you move down there.

Um, so that's that for today's episode, if you liked it, you can head on over to apple podcasts, leave a review. For The Troy Farkas Show, or you can also do so on TheTroyFarkasShow.com. Um, got another blog coming up this week and another podcast as well. Super excited to bring that to you guys. You know, YouTube, we've got videos.

I'm on Tik Tok @troy_farkas, on IG @troy_farkas. The show account is also over on Instagram, so you can follow me and follow my journey and all of our journeys over there on all of those platforms. I'll be back later this week until then have a great week work hard. Get after it. Have wonderful interactions and be present.

Be fucking proud. If you do that so much in your life will change. Talk to you soon.