April 15, 2021

Tik Tok haters, the power of gratitude, IG captions & 2021 dating advice w/ Jasmine Noonan


On today's must-listen episode, an old friend from UAlbany discusses why she moved to Miami a few months ago, how writing three things she's grateful for every day changed her life and how she deals with all the mean comments she gets on TikTok. Plus, she gives Troy advice on modern dating and where he should live, and also explains why she peer pressures people into skydiving! If you're in college or in your 20s, you don't want to miss this.

Jasmine Noonan is a 24-year old currently living in Miami. Originally from Poughkeepsie, NY, she was a cheerleader at UAlbany. After college, she moved to Stamford, CT for a job and then moved down to Miami late last year. Outside of her day job, she spends a lot of time with friends on the beach, as well as on social media, where she has 29K Instagram followers and 35K TikTok followers. She's also a skydiving aficionado.

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Today's cause: Operation Liberation, which is dedicated to rescuing, rehabilitating and finding permanent homes for non-human animals and providing humanitarian relief and assistance to people in low income, at-risk or disaster-stricken regions. Donate as part of the show's all-natural initiative.

Highlights from Jasmine:

"It's really hard to be down in the dumps after you acknowledge all the good you have in your life. Once I started doing those kinds of things, my life completely changed."

"If anyone ever insults the way I look or my intelligence, I don't really take it to heart because I'm confident in who I am."

"I almost feel bad for people who are haters because there must be something going on inside that you feel the need to spread hate like that."

peace and love.

Transcript

A pleasure to welcome onto the podcast this week. A girl that I first met at UAlbany. So we shared a class, uh, in American politics class in 2014, it was an election year, midterm year. So it was kind of exciting. Now, Jasmine, you were in my seminar groups, so this was a big lecture hall type deal.

And then we broke off into smaller groups and, uh, you were on one side of the room. I was on the other side of the room. So we were always kind of debating against each other. And ever since then, I've always been super fascinated by you because you were super intelligent and I love the way that you articulated your points.

And then we actually had a couple Spanish classes together for a couple of years. We sat next to each other B S D rounds and, uh, I saw you a bunch of you all meet you all many games, you were a cheerleader. I was running around like working at games, doing some student media stuff, and you were always super nice to me.

You always said hi to me when you didn't have to. And, uh, I always loved that about you and I've always respected you and I, and I've kind of, you know, admired you from, from afar and everything that we're doing now. So I'm super. Fascinating to talk to you today. But first, before we get to all of the things that I want to talk about, Ola, Como estas.

Oh, LA. How are you? Thank you so much for inviting me on. Yeah, for sure. So Jasmine, uh, obviously, you know our story here, can I start at you all may. So going back to those you all many days, so I graduated in three years, you also graduated in three years, so our timelines are pretty similar in that sense, but I'm curious, when you look back, when you all meet, what are, what are some of your fondest memories?

Fondest memories. Definitely. Definitely the Spanish classes, not going to lie. I love Spanish. So those were always a good time. Cause it was like we were all of us. I feel like there was a group of us that were kind of in like every single class together. So that was fun. But um, definitely being on the cheerleading team, probably like my favorite memories were with the cheerleaders.

Cause that was like where I was spending a lot of my time. Um, definitely some good party stories and stuff like that. But. Yeah, I would say definitely cheerleading for sure. And you, you worked at one of the popular bars in Albany, right? Yes. I worked at the smoke and bowl, which was shut down only a few months into me working there, but, um, yeah, it was shut down for underage drinking, so, but it was really fun to work there before it got shut down.

Sounds about right. Do you remember Yik yak? Yes. Oh my God. I forgot about Yankee. Jack was that just started popping off our freshman year. Like YikYak was hot. We were you all, he was on SUNY party stories all the time. It seemed like a crazy place to be. And so it was an awesome, awesome time there. So awesome.

Oh my God. I totally forgot about yak yak. Those were funny times. Yeah. Especially, you know, when you're underage and you're just the messages that you would see in their head. Hey, I need a bottle tonight. What ran dough at this? Someone please help. Yeah. So funny it's time. So, so you went from U Albany and then I kind of want to talk about where, where you went from there.

So I went off to Connecticut. But you did as well. You went to Stanford, Connecticut. I went to Bristol about 90 minutes away from each other. Stanford is kind of the gateway to New York city and Connecticut. But what brought you to Stanford? Right? Yeah. So I, I actually went to Stanford for, um, a job at like a staffing agency.

Um, I got the job through a friend. They told me they wanted me to move there. So I just did it. I made, it was the only job I really could get. So I just moved to Connecticut. I found some roommates. Um, I ended up hating that job, so I quit and I kind of like, didn't have a job for a while, but I was bartending.

I, I always kind of bartend on the side just cause I like it. It's extra money. Um, so I was bartending and I was actually at a bar at karaoke. And met, met some random girl who actually worked at my current company and she rec she referred me literally while we were at the bar, it was circle. He's like, Oh my God, send me your resume.

I sent her my resume. She submitted it literally while we were at karaoke. And then I wound up getting the job like a month or two later. What was that conversation like? When I'm at a bar and I am not thinking about potential job prospects, Stanford. I feel like everyone is a young professional. So it's like, there's a lot of really big companies in Stanford.

So I feel like there's a lot of young professionals there. So when you go out, the first thing people ask you is like, where do you work? Cause they assume everyone just assumes. Right. So then she asked me where I worked or maybe I don't even know how the conversation came about, but I wasn't working. And then she told me where she works and I was like, Oh, like, I want to work there.

Can you refer me? And she was like, yeah, I'll refer you right now. Send me your resume. I had it in my email. I sent it right over to her while we were at the bar. Wow. Okay. So I guess a lesson to be learned here is when we're all back at bars, having a good time and the pandemic is kind of bringing your resume along with you, bring your resume to the bar or have it in your habit stored in your phone somewhere.

So that worked out. Yeah. And now that's where I'm still working. So that was like two years ago. Okay. So you're, you're not in Connecticut right now. We'll get there in a moment. So I I've had a lot of people from Connecticut on the show. I had a lot of friends in Connecticut. I lived in central Connecticut and a lot of people kind of shit on the state.

You know, it kind of gets a bad rap for being a drive-through state. Not much going on here. Farmland. I have defending Connecticut thrilling, bro. I think there's something there for everyone. If you do shift your attitude a little to a more positive mindset. So I love Connecticut. Jasmine, please tell me that you also love to Connecticut.

I did. I did like it. It was funny though. I do, I do my fair share of shitting on it. Like I, my favorite, my only thing that I, that I always say is like the bottom half of Connecticut. It's just like fake New York and the top half is just fake Massachusetts and they don't really have their own identity, I think.

But I did love living there. Stanford was awesome. I loved that it was on the water. I loved that it was close to the city. Eat very easy to like, take the train and go out if you ever wanted to. But yeah, definitely really liked Stanford for sure. I haven't really lived anywhere else in Connecticut. So I don't really know much about the rest of the state, but Stanford was cool.

Stanford is a, you should stay in Stanford, you know, Bristol and such. You don't want to, you don't want to go to, uh, so I noticed as I was kind of falling, your, your Instagram page is through the years you were living in Stanford, I could tell, but you were also all the time on the beach all the time. So like what, what was going on there?

I just love Miami. So like, and it's pretty cheap. To fly. It's pretty cheap to fly and stay for a few days. And especially as a girl, everything is free. So like in Miami, like you go out to the clubs for free, you drink for free. Sometimes you get three dinners, you go on boats for free. So it was very, very fun and easy to pay the 300 bucks for the flight and the hotel for the few days.

And then just have like a free trip in paradise. Miami is literally paradise. It's the best. So I that's why I was going all the time. Um, It was just really, it's just easy and fun. Wow. I wish I had been a girl. I didn't know that everything was free. I know you got a lot of freebies. I didn't know like that.

Now you've actually in the whole pandemic. Obviously this has changed a bunch of things about the way that we work and live. You are now in Miami full time. What's what made you. Hammer home that decision. So I always, the first time I went to Miami, I think it was 2017, like spring break. And I, when I went, I said, I'm going to live here one day.

And then it just kind of like fell into my lap, like a perfect opportunity to move because we've been remote with my job since. Last March. And they told us we're probably still not going back until at least September at the very earliest. So I was like, you know what? Like, this is a sign. I finally like, I have a good job.

I like, I, I w before this, before the pandemic, I always want it to move, but I didn't want to have to get a new job and like, worry about that. So it was perfect. Cause I could keep my good job and still get to live in Miami. So I moved down. Right after Christmas, like December 28th, I think with my friend Nicola who went to UAlbany with us, she drove down with me.

I packed up my car and just moved to a new apartment by myself. What are you scared at all? Starting a new life, somewhere else. Kind of scared. Okay. So I'm a really social person and I like hanging out with friends, like all the time. Like every day I'll be with friends. I don't, I don't really care for a long time, so I was nervous to live alone.

I thought, like I was going to get like super lonely, but I think the very first night that I slept here by myself, cause I've had friends like helping me move in the first night that I slept here alone, I was kind of anxious. And then I woke up in the morning and looked out my, and saw my view of the water and the Palm trees.

And I was like, okay. Nope, I'm happy. And I haven't been like anxious at all since then. So it was kind of scary though at first. Why do you normally not like being alone? I just am. It's really am social. Like my winding down is like hanging out with friends. I dunno why I just have always been that way.

Like I just like. Other people's company, no matter what it is like if I'm alone and I am bored, like I'll go and like sit at a bar and eat at a bar, like by myself, just to like chat it up with whoever just to like be around people. I just like being around people. No, nothing wrong with that. I listen, I will buy I'm.

I liked being around people, but I also love being alone probably too much. Sometimes the scale tips too much in the direction of me just wanting to do my own thing and spending time alone. So I'm kinda jealous of you, uh, in that sense now, do you think that you will stay in Miami for the foreseeable future?

Once the remote work thing maybe kind of goes away once everything is whatever normal is. So the thing is, I don't think I. I don't want to move away from New York forever. My family is there. My whole family, all my friends are there. Like I don't want to leave. Live here forever, but I want to have a place here forever.

So like I, I decided this winter when I came down to Miami and it was 70 degrees, 75 degrees, and I was going to the beach in January that I never want to experience a New York winter again. So my, my goal plans within the next few years, I guess, is to buy a place down here first. Cause I know I'll, I'll I'll know that I'll always want to have that.

And then hopefully within a few years, buy a place in New York, have both not be the. Asshole family member, excuse my language, who moved to Florida, you know, you know, like, you know, that family member that moved to Florida and never came back. Like, I don't want to be that guy. So, so yeah, that's my, that's my plan.

But for right now I'm crossing that bridge. When I get to it, like when my job tells us we have to come back, I'll figure out what I have to do then, but definitely going to try to milk the remote work for as long as I possibly can. And you should, I'm doing the exact same thing now. What did your family.

Think about you moving down to Miami more permanently when you know, you're from upstate New York Poughkeepsie, you've got a lot of friends in that area and in Connecticut, what did all of them think about it? So when I told my mom that I wanted to do it, she completely supported me. She was like, You now's the time you're young, you're single.

Like you have nothing tying you to any place. Like she was like, you should go live in a new city. Like you're going to meet so many new people. You're going to experience so many things. You're going to learn so much about yourself. Like my mom completely supported it and all my friends too, everyone knows how much I love Miami.

So like, everyone was like, Oh, well she was bound to go there at some point. So we're not shocked. Basically, but yeah, my whole family completely supported it. My, my dad was a little nervous. He was like, you gotta be careful, like, you know, a girl living alone. Like it's scary. So, but. Everyone, everyone pretty much had my back.

I love that. I love that they were supportive of you. Um, so on your page, on your IG page, you shared a lot of stories that are really positive in nature. Just encouraging people to, to be grateful and to live their best lives and to be themselves. And I love all of that. And so I've been a big fan of that for years.

Why do you feel the need. To do that because I feel like, you know, some people in this world that we live in may view that as corny or lame, or like might not get, you know, a lot of likes or whatever. I don't feel that way, but that's just how a lot of people do. So why do you do, why do you feel the need to, to be the positive girl on IgE?

Which I love, I just. Um, okay, well, I'm literally wearing a sweatshirt that says grateful right now, this tapestry behind me also says grateful and you know what? I am so corny and I don't care. The thing is the whole gratitude thing. So just to give a back story, actually, John, do you know John LIS John referee, he went to Albany as well.

He, um, he's actually the one who inspired me to start doing the three things you're grateful for each day. He started doing it. And I was like, Oh, I like this. I want to, I want to do it. And the reason why is because it's really hard to be in a bad mood. After you just said three things that you're grateful for.

It's really hard to like be down in the dumps after you acknowledge all the good that you have in your life. And once I started doing those like that, those kinds of things, a few years ago, my life has completely changed. Like completely changed. So the reason why I feel the needs of post is because I want everyone else to see the light.

Like I want them to see what I saw, like find, find what I found and, and that's why I share, I don't do it every single day. I kinda, I kinda slowed down with it, but that's why I like to do that. And sometimes I'll write like, I'll do like one of those question box things and I'll be like, what are you grateful for?

And people will write it in there or, or I'll say, I'll just say, what are you grateful for? And sometimes people will respond to my story and just say something they're grateful for. So it's really nice. And it's really awesome to see like some of my friends doing it too. Cause it's like, yeah, like be grateful.

Like life is so good. And it's just really tough to be, be in a bad mood. Like right in the moment, like your life could be, you know, you could be going through things in life, but in the present moment, if you sit there and say like, wow, I'm so grateful for my family. I'm so grateful for my friends. I'm so grateful for my health.

I'm grateful for my hot shower. I'm grateful for like a bed to sleep in, you know, in a safe place. Like once you say all those things out loud, it's really hard in that moment to be in a bad mood. Like you, you kinda can't. A fucking men, you can swear all you want on this podcast. I got a journal a for Christmas two years ago, maybe that on it, it's like a fitness journal.

I'm a very health oriented person. And on the bottom page was a list three things that you are grateful for today. And when you do it every day, You started getting into the real monotony of things that you are grateful for, where you start to become grateful for every little thing. I'm grateful for my cup of coffee today.

I'm grateful that the neighbor next door didn't run into my car today. Like you started getting really creative with the things and it completely changes your outlook on life. And I love that you feel no shame in posting that because I also in the things that I share. Yeah. It's corny. Yes. It's not going to get a lot of likes, views, whatever, but I know that I have also seen the light and I want other people to see the light.

I am living out here in Colorado because I spoke it into existence because I wanted to be in sunshine because I wanted to be in an active community. And I want it to go out West and say, screw it all to my life in the East. A lot of people. Uh, maybe fantasize about doing that kind of thing, but think that they can never actually do it.

They think that they can never just go down to Miami and create a life there when they don't know anyone, but you can't. And if you just speak it into existence and share and show people, you can, anything is possible. I so agree. And the corny thing, I literally do not care and not for nothing people, people really like it, people reply.

And they're like, I love that you do this. Like. Like even if maybe some people think it's corny, I don't even care because I know that like some people see that and they're like, Oh, maybe let me think. What, what am I grateful for? Even if they don't post it, even if they don't say it out loud, like me, me writing that question at the bottom, what are you grateful for everyone who reads it has to read it.

And it has to say, what am I grateful for? So I don't even care who thinks it's corny, who doesn't like it because the people who do it's it helps. Yeah. So, yeah, I absolutely love that. Um, so a lot of things that you post are less than like you're on the beach all the time. You're in Miami, right? But if you scroll down your page, you know, you've got suntan scan.

You're obviously an attractive girl. You're on the beach. You've got a good job. You're you're in Miami drink in hand all the time. It seems like your life is glamorous. That it is perfect, that everyone wants to be you is sort of life really as good as it appears to be. So no one's life is perfect. And I don't want to sit here and be like, yeah, like here's the thing.

No one's life is perfect. And like, I definitely go through my own personal things, but Instagram is a highlight, highlight reel. So obviously like the things that I post on there are going to be my me and my best light, but also. I do feel like my life right now is really good. Like I'm, I'm in a good place.

I'm so happy. Like I'm almost to the point where it's like, nothing can bother me. And I think a huge reason for that is the gratitude thing. Yeah. But, but yeah, no, I don't want to say that my life is perfect by any means, but I, but I do feel like I. Have created a really good life for myself and put myself in a good spot.

And I think it's because I did something as crazy as moved to Miami, like did something as spontaneous and scary as like stepping outside of your comfort zone outside of your comfort zone is where life begins. So, yeah. So I'm definitely having a lot of fun. I'm definitely happy. I'm not going to say my Instagram is a lie, but it's, it's also a highlight reel.

So. What does happiness look like? Look like to you? What is your, when Jasmine is happy like you are right now, what does it mean is going right in your life? Um, well, a big part of it is, is money. I'm not going to lie. So my, my whole life, like I didn't grow up with money. So. Now having a good job where I don't have to worry about like, am I going to be able to pay rent?

Well, I hope my car doesn't break down because I can't get it fixed. Like that was like all through my life through college, that was kind of like money was the biggest issue. And I used to hate when people would say money can't buy happiness because it made it really hard to be happy when I did not have money.

So I would say like, yeah, Having a really good job makes it a lot easier to be happy because you're, you're not worried about money. You're not stressed about money, but that's not the only thing. Like, I feel like I have a good support group of friends and family. I live in Miami, which I, you can't wake up here and not be happy if it literally, like I see Palm trees and I'm happy.

Yeah. It's just instant dopamine. Literally just being injected into your veins literally, and like the sun. So happy Jasmine, like in a, in a moment. Happy Jasmine is literally. On the beach in Miami it's 85 degree weather innovating SU hanging out that is. Pure bliss for me. I love that. So you're, uh, you're on Tik TOK as well, in addition to IgE.

And you would actually, you would put out a video, someone recently, um, basically saying that being on Tik TOK as a 24 year old is like being a girl in high school. You're walking around alone and the girls, there's a bunch of cliquey girls that are, they're making fun of you, but then there's also a bunch of cliquey guys that are, they're making fun of you.

What exactly do you mean by that? So, okay. What I meant by that is like, I was comparing sick talk to when you're in the mall and it's, it's something about a bunch of like young girls altogether. That's really intimidating, even though it shouldn't be, it just is so like, and it's, it's kind of a thing.

Like a lot of people I've talked to have felt that feeling like, Oh my God, when I'm in the grocery store and there's like, A bunch of high school girls they're like doing something together and I'm by myself, it's like so embarrassing for whatever reason. I don't know why, but the comparison was being on tick-tock is like that.

Except imagine there's also really mean boys in the mall, which doesn't happen, but like, imagine that, and then you think like, Oh, those are, there's just boys over there. Like, they're not going to bother you, but then they start bullying you and it's even worse. And what I really meant was like on Tik TOK.

The comments are ruthless. People will comment. So, so many mean things. And so it's just like, I dunno, it just, it's just weird. And so, and I feel like too, since I'm 24, I'm not old, but there's a lot of famous tick talkers that are 15 years old who are like cool and young now. And like, um, I'm becoming like, I'm getting into my mid twenties.

Like I'm kind of how it actually an adult. So it's like makes it even worse that it's like a little kid is being mean to me. And I'm like getting sad about it. Like, why am I getting sad about a little kid bullying me, you know, What kind of comments do people on Tik, TOK say like that. And that's what, that's, what I hate about this stuff is that you are a genuine person living her best life.

You're a great girl. You're smart. You come from like, like everything is great and people are still mean what, what comments do you get and how do you perse? Like, do they affect you in your mindset and how you view yourself? So, okay. Like if, if anyone ever insults, like the way I look or like my intelligence or anything like that, I don't really take it to heart because I'm confident in who I am.

So like, I feel like someone who is confident in themselves and likes themselves would never say that about someone else. So I almost feel bad for people who are haters, because it's like there must be something going on inside that you feel that needs to like spread hate like that. Um, the comments that I get are ruthless, like people will comment stuff about me being ugly stuff about me being like a ho like literally everything is me being stupid.

Like. That I have a bad personality, like, like every comment in the book that you could ever think of, like has been said. And so to a point at first, okay. So like my first video that kind of went viral, I started getting a ton of followers and I got like a ton of comments on the video. And a lot of them were really mean, and I literally just stopped reading them.

Like I just stopped reading them because it's like, I can't put my energy into looking at this, like. Whatever people say it's none of my business. I don't even care. I don't even care. And the other thing is you do get paid on Tik TOK. For engagement. So keep, keep the comments flowing because you're engaging on my, on my video.

So honestly, at that point, I'm getting paid for you to be you to be a hater. I love that. I, uh, I love so much of what you just said. So when I w I worked at ESPN, so I worked on a lot of high profile podcasts and radio shows with a bunch of high profile talent. And so when I was on these shows, I was a voice on these shows.

And so then it's, it's so funny when. People that you don't know, start commenting on things that you're doing and saying, and messaging you personally, I've never met you before, and you are going out of your way to try to tell me that I'm doing a bad job or that I sound funny. And at that moment, because I'm confident in myself, like you were confident in yourself, you just kind of turn it around and say, I feel bad for you.

That, this is what you are doing in your free time, that you feel the need to go tear someone else down to make yourself feel better. That's low. And I will hate myself if I ever get to that point. And the other thing too, is that the people who are saying these things don't know you and all your friends and family would never say those things.

So I'm like, I know that they, I know that it's not true. You know what I mean? Like I'm a confident myself enough where like, You're this random person is just being a hater and they don't even know me. Like, and if they did know me, they wouldn't be saying that. So that's, that's a them problem. And I'm going to be over here.

Staying in my gratitudes lane checks, you can say being a hater. Hell yeah. Now what would your advice be to, you know, a 19 year old girl on Tik TOK, who is yet to develop that sense of self-confidence like you have, you know, still a developing minds, a little fragile mind, and still trying to figure out who she is at that age.

What would you say to that 19 year old girl on Tik TOK who is getting. Some of those weird nasty comments who is letting it affect her. It makes me so sad that it, that, that, that happens. And it happens to so many people, especially on Tik TOK. It's actually so toxic. I love Tech-Talk, it's so much fun, but the comments on people's things are so ruthless.

What I would say to someone I don't, it's tough. I personally, I just don't read the comments, so, but. There's something in us as humans that we want to look, we want to see it, even though we know that it's bad, we want to see it. I would say either turn off the comments or delete them. Cause you can delete comments.

So like if someone comments something nasty, just delete it. And then I feel like sometimes it's like a, it's almost like a group think kind of thing where. People see one nasty comment, it's getting a bunch of lights and then they want to do their nasty comment. And then it's just like a toxic environment.

Whereas like, if you can catch it early and just delete it. But the, the one thing I would say to whatever 19 year old girl is going through that, it's them. It's not you. It's it's them. When, when someone. When someone is a hater or is, is mean or rude or disrespectful it's because there's something in them that hasn't healed and pray for them.

You know what I mean? Because like, I'm not an, I'm not a nasty person. I would never say something mean to someone else because I feel like I want to treat people the way I want to be treated. You know what I mean? Yeah. I absolutely love that. Thank you for that. Um, when you are. About to post on IgG you're you're gonna, you're gonna make a post or a video.

And tick-tock what kind of goes through your mind as you are posting a photo. What, what makes you officially press share on it? Um, so on Instagram, well, I guess on both, I, like, I obviously care what I look like. I obviously want like my body to look good and my face to look good. I don't want to post something where like my face looks awkward.

Um, But usually like when I'm taking pictures, it's either a good day or bad day. And if it's a bad day, I don't even try. And if it's a good day, like I'll probably get one really quickly that I'm like, Oh, this is good. And I actually don't think about anything and I literally would just be like, okay, I'm posting it right now.

And like, just post it, post it and throw my phone and then just see what happens, I guess. Interesting. Okay. Now I've always been fascinated by the captions that that girls put on photos because you know, I'm a guy, so I can never really relate, but you know, a girl will post a photo of her on the beach, looking out over the.

You know, the waves, whatever it is. And the caption will have no relation whatsoever to what you are seeing in the photo. And I'd be lying if I said that you weren't guilty of this there's one, there's one, uh, post that I wrote down, where is it? Oh, it says. You like Krabby patties, don't you sweat like that is not related to this whatsoever.

Where do girls like yourself come up with this stuff? It's literally in my head at that moment and usually makes no sense. Or like, if I heard a funny thing like that, you like Krabby patties don't use good word. Like, I don't know. I just, I have a picture that I want to pose and I want the caption usually to be something funny or like, I don't know.

I don't, I don't like those captions where it's like, Trying trying really hard. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know if I'm articulating that well, but yeah, I don't overthink it. I literally just post whatever comes to my mind in that moment. And hopefully someone thinks it's funny. So at least you thought that one was funny.

I did think it was funny, but sometimes I just don't get it. I kind of trot on my own post. I just kind of gave up on trying to come up with something clever and similar to the, you know, the positivity thing that we were talking about and being corny, just. I just, I'm just going to say whatever I want to say.

You know, I posted something the other day about how grateful I am for this experience in Colorado, that there's been, there's been highs. You know, I'm seeing great things for the first time. It's great weather, but there's been lows. I'm lonely. It's hard to, to get places based on just transit, whatnot. I don't have a car.

Um, so it, it has been hard and, and I don't want to shy away from that. Like, Hey, here's these amazing photos, but let me tell you that behind this. It's not 100%, you know, sunny all the time. So I posted that and, uh, I'm still trying to just figure out just kind of, you know, the best way to represent myself as I go forward and all this.

Yeah. I would say like, I agree with, like, you don't want people to think your life is perfect because it's not, no one's life is perfect, but at the same time, I don't really like to dwell on negativity. So for me posting something about like me going through something bad. Almost makes it more real, almost makes it more, it makes it like, hang on for longer.

Like, I try to like, if I'm going through something, like I try to get myself through it and be positive and move on. And I feel like when you put something out into the world, like I want to put out just things that make me feel good because like, why would I want to spread something negative? You know what I mean?

So that's kind of why I don't really post anything about like, Going through something bad, just because I feel like when you dwell on something bad, it kind of lingers around longer. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. All right. So I need two pieces of advice there. There's two, two different things that I'm dealing with and I've identified you as maybe a good person to help me out.

So I need, I need advice on where to live and I need dating advice, which do you choose first to help me tackle? Um, let's do where to live first. Okay. So I've got this conundrum, so I love Colorado and you know, I've been here for, so I, I identify at the beginning of the year. Okay. I'm leaving Connecticut and leaving my job saying screw it all.

And it's Boston or Denver. There is, there is no room for any other place. It is Boston, Boston, adjacent, Denver, Denver, adjacent. That's where I want to be. Um, and so I spent a month in Boston, February in February, and then I came out to Denver in March and I'm going to be here and in the West until June.

And so. I'm going back to upstate New York for a wedding at the end of June. And that's kind of the point where I'm like, alright, what am I doing here? Am I going to Boston? Am I going to Colorado? So my problem is, is that I really love Colorado. It is awesome out here. The weather. Is, you know, the sun is more intense.

There's actually more days of sun in Denver than there is in Miami, in a calendar year. So that's awesome. You know, it's, it's a, it's a very active place. I'm getting 13,000 steps a day here like that without even trying. And I'm being super active, hiking, biking, walking, all that good stuff. The people out here are so nice.

It's different. The interactions I'm having out here are different. Great craft beer, great food for major sports teams. It's great. I love it out here. Boston, uh, is more expensive than Denver. It's, you know, there's mass holes and, uh, it's the Northeast and it's just something that, that I've known forever.

So I'm not as high on Boston clearly as I am on Denver, but big, but. There's a lot of people in Boston and in the Northeast in general that I really care about. And I know that when I am at my happiest, it's when I'm surrounded by those people in February when I was there, um, I had, you know, I, I just, you know, pandemics not going out or anything, but, um, just a really good night with friends on the couch, drinking, sharing stories, sharing laughs.

And in that moment I was like, this is amazing. I love this. I want to do this all the time. And so I'm really stuck because. There's this place out here in Colorado that I really love. That is so cool and makes me really happy for a lot of reasons. But there's Boston, which is not as cool as I would say.

And Denver is 20 factors over that are better, but it has the people, and that might be more important than all of that. So I don't know what to do. So on the same exact way where I feel like my friends are my, and my family are my life. Like I, like I said earlier, I just love being around people all the time.

So I'm the same way where I feel you on like, why you want to be close to them. My only thing is when else are you going to live in Colorado? Because like your friends and your family and like the people in your life that you care about, aren't going to go anywhere. You know what I mean? Like they're going to still be in your life, hopefully.

I mean, and if they don't then was it, was that relationship that important anyway, so I think like at a time like this, when, you know, we're both young, like. This is the time to go live in Colorado and not for nothing like you're going to meet friends in Colorado and then they might be some of your friends for the rest of your life too.

I think it's a really beautiful thing to live in different places and meet people and make connections with people. And then you have those connections forever. Like I have friends from college that live in Australia and like, if I'm ever in Australia, I'm going and hanging out with them. You know what I mean?

So my advice to you would be. You probably like Colorado better, obviously go follow your heart. Do what you doing, you think is best in the moment. But if you miss them too much, you can move home. Yeah. That's the beauty of it. Like if you can live wherever you want and if you don't like it, you can move back.

Yeah, no mistake can be. Uh, you know, every mistake can be corrected if it ends up being mistakes. So I'm, uh, you know, I think a part of growing up and that's kind of the whole idea of this podcast is we talk about things about growing up is just, you know, accepting that, that you don't know everything. So I like talking to people and just get getting out of my own head and laying shit out to other people to see how it lands for them.

Cause you know, I put more faith in a lot of other people's decisions, you know? 50 people tell me Denver. And one person tells me Boston, like, all right. Well, I mean, I think, I think I need to know what I need to do. Uh, so that's that, uh, secondly, so like dating advice. So, uh, I'm not a dating app guy. Like I hate it.

I think it's, you know, and Hey, no disrespect to the people out there that are on them and, and thriving. And I've met people that are soulmates on it. It's just not for me. Who I am, does not shine through on a dating app in any quirky message that I'm supposed to send to get your attention as a girl. It doesn't work for me.

I think it's awkward. I think it's forced. I don't like it. I like meeting people naturally, whether it's through friends out and about out in the wild, whatever the problem is is I don't think that is as accepted in 2021 as it was in 2000. Right. If I just go up to a girl that I think is cute or that whatever.

At the library at a coffee shop at the gym at a non-BAR setting, which has all sorts of sexual ties to it. If I just go up to a girl in a normal setting and try to strike up a conversation, I think. People feel that is weird and that is uncomfortable. I have no intentions other than I just want to talk to you and get to know you and see your story.

But I don't feel like that's accepted it. If, if I think you're a queue and you're at where you're at a coffee shop and I come up to you as a random dude striking up a conversation, how would that land for you? Um, for me, It would have to happen naturally. So like, when I, like, if I'm out in public, I'll talk to whoever.

Like if someone talks to me, like I will, but it needs to be in a natural way. If I'm sitting there with my headphones in drinking my coffee on my phone, and someone comes up to me, like, I, I probably don't look approachable cause I'm like, my body language would show you that I probably don't want to be approached.

But then there are times where, um, I'm looking around. Like, I feel like the body language like matters a lot. If someone's like head down, like not making eye contact, I would say no-go probably shouldn't like go, I mean, you could, but the person probably doesn't want to be approached. And then if they are making eye contact or you both laugh at something that happened, like the guy in front of you did something crazy in line.

Now you're now you're talking to each other. Now that's the perfect time to talk, but like, Do you get what? I mean? Like it has to be natural. So on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, we did this thing, me and some friends, we did a March madness style bracket of Troy stories of things that have happened in my life.

Cause like all these weird things happen in my life. And I had asked a girl who just worked at the front desk of a store and uh, I had seen her once before. And the second time I go in and like each time we'd had like pleasant exchanges, I guess. And so I just asked her for her number right on the spot and she laughed and giggled and blushed and whatever, and writes down number a piece of paper, hands it to me.

I walk out of there. Wow. Let's go. Okay. Just be yourself. This is great. Call that number. Next day. Number doesn't exist. It's fake. So I'm like, like, what do I do here? Like, is this, is this a weird thing to do? I dunno. Uh, well, no, because how else are you going to meet people? How else are you going to meet people?

If you don't put yourself out there and do it, you know? But I don't know. Some people like to be approached and I guess some people don't. Yeah. So I don't, I don't really know on that front. Um, I'm someone who doesn't like dating apps either. But now in 2021 where you can't really go out, like, I mean, you can, but like, it's tough to meet people when you're out.

Cause you, you have to be at your table or whatever. Yeah. Um, I have been using the D I've been using hinge and I agree it's forced, it's not natural, but like at this point, like there's not really any other way to meet people. So I actually have been using hinge have haven't been that successful except I did meet a guy.

A few weeks ago, we went on a couple dates and then we went skydiving. I'm so glad you brought this up. Uh, hold on. I, Hmm. Okay. I have to stop here on this. Okay. So another reason why, um, why I think fondly of you is because in this first managed class that we had together, we were doing like, uh, Oh, what'd you do over your summer vacation type deal.

And you mentioned that you had been skydiving and that you encouraged everyone in the class to do it. I had never thought of doing it before. That's crazy. This was when I was, you know, less adventurous than I am now, but you'd kind of planted a seed in my mind that I should go skydive. I actually went skydiving last year and it was so much fun.

And I want to do it again in Colorado while I'm out here. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm actually really a skydiving advocate. I was on this date with this guy and. I asked him, what's something you've never done before that you really want to do. And in my head, I'm like, say, say skydiving, skydiving, but I didn't say it.

And then he goes, honestly, I would like to go skydiving. I go shut up. I was just thinking that, like you read my mind and I was like, you have to go. It's so amazing. Like, there's a place in Miami. Do you want to go? And he was like, Yeah, honestly. Yeah, let's do it. So then that was the Tuesday. We booked it for a Saturday.

We hung out a couple of times in between and we went skydiving. Wow. Okay. I'm kind of someone who, peer pressures, people jumping out of airplanes. Why are you such a big Scott? I've got the kit. It's amazing. It's well, you've done it now. The feeling is unlike any, anything else in life? Yeah. And it's crazy because I feel like at the point where you're like about to jump out, you're not even scared.

Well, well, how did you feel when you did it? So I, and I don't know if it's, I've only been to one place, so I don't have the one, one, um, comparison. So I was super jazzed for it the whole time, but then you get there and you ended up waiting for like five hours or something. So, um, I wasn't nervous at all.

And then. Especially, because I've been talking to people on the ground, those people go up and then they land safely. I literally watched them land and I say, all right, Hey, they meant, we were just talking to them. 45 minutes later, they're back on the crown. This is fine, but then you get up on the plane and I'm in a plane with eight people.

Me and my, me and my friends are jumping together and we are in the back of the plane. So we're the last in line. So we are watching everyone. Tumble out of this sideways and just fall off and do a Bolivian. And that moment I literally turned around and said to Kelsey, my friend, what the fuck are we doing?

And she's like, Troy, this was your idea. We have to do this. And I'm like, well, I guess you have to now. So then I just tumbled out a plane and landed safely and it was grit. It is so true. Like there are moments where you're not scared. And then there are moments where you're like, why am I doing this? So I went skydiving for the first time.

It was that summer before maybe it was the summer before sophomore year of college or something like that. That time I went, I was ready. I was, you get nervous. But I was like, ready. I think I was six years old when I found out what skydiving was. And I was like, mom, I want to do that. And she was like, you have to be 18.

And my entire life, I was like, when I turn 18, I'm going skydiving. So the first time I was like, ready to go. The second time I went, it actually ended up being the exact same day, a year later, unplanned other friends invited me to go. And I said, yes, The second time I went, I was like, Oh God, like I already did this once.

Like, and landed safely. Why am I testing my luck again? But obviously I landed safely. That was the second time. And then this was a spontaneous third time that I went a few weeks ago. And the third time, I don't think I was that scared, but. I mean, it's, it's a feeling unlike anything else you literally are flying through the air, your, your body is just flying through the air.

Like it's, it's hard to comprehend. When, when we were in the plane, my instructor was telling me. Hey, if it feels like you're not breathing, just remember to breathe. And I'm like, what? That is the dumbest advice I've ever heard. What are you talking about? And then I'm in the air flying at find out at 9.81 meters per second, whatever it is.

And, uh, I forgot to breathe. Like Holy crap, wait, breathe. He told you to breathe. I actually struggled to breathe too. And I kind of freaked out. I like couldn't breathe because you feel like, you know, when you stick your head out of a car going really fast, it's kind of hard to read. It feels like that, but you're going 120 miles an hour.

So it's like the first time I was like, Oh my God, look, what if I pass out? Because I can't breathe. Like this is scary, but then I figured it out. Yeah. Okay. So I want to go back to, to the dating app and scene and how you met this guy. Uh, so kind of when you're on the dating apps and I it's crazy to me that you haven't been as successful.

Like, I feel like you're a Steele. What is kind of your approach on the dating app scene? How do you, like, how do you do it? How do you navigate it? Um, so I just use hinge and I don't usually scroll through and like, like people first. I kind of just let them like me and I either like them back or don't, but like, I'll look at, are they attractive?

Are they tall? I'm pretty tall. So I like a tall guy or they attractive. Are they tall? And what do their questions say? If they say something that looks douchey, I'm not liking them. If they say something that looks judgmental, not liking them. Like sometimes I'll see, I'll see a. A prompt and it's like, you should not go out with me if, and the guy writes, like, if you use filters on your pictures, first of all.

Okay, sure. But why, why are you writing that on dating app? Like that's so don't you feel like that's so obnoxious to write, like that just shows that you're extremely judgmental and maybe like shallow, because you only care about how the person looks, you know what I mean, stuff like that. I will not. I will not like them back.

And then when I do like the bag, if they look normal, I'll, I'll like the back and I'll let them start the conversation. And if they're funny or they seem cool, then I'll probably agree to like, go get a drink with them or something. I've, I've been on like three or four dates since I moved to Miami. So, and is this how, cause I I'm just trying to get into the mind of a girl.

Is this how most girls kind of approach it? I think so, but. It sounds like most of my friends right now, actually aren't single. So most of my friends aren't using hens right now, but I think most people go the same route that I do are they good-looking like maybe how old are they? And then you do look at the prompts.

You want to be funny. The whole point of the prompts is to like, show your personality a little bit. So I think most girls look at that for sure. Gotcha. Okay. Uh, well thank you, Jasmine. This has been amazing. Uh, one final thing before, before we go. So we do this thing every week. Every Thursday show called the all natural initiative where, uh, the guests, that week comes on to talk about a cause and organization, a charity that is meaningful to them that has maybe impacted their lives in some way or someone that they know.

Uh, I feel it's, you know, and you probably feel the same way that it's important to give back. And when you've been blessed or with, with, with things that other people are not that, uh, it's your duty to give back. So I donate to this cause, and then we encourage all the listeners to, to donate to the cause as well.

So, Jasmine, what is, what is your cost today and why have you chosen it? Um, so I chose operation liberation. Um, it's a girl in South Florida who runs a nonprofit that saves animals. And so basically it's all based on donations that she pays for their vet visits. She like rescues them, fosters them, whether it, a lot of it's cats and kittens.

So, but. She does help other animals too. But basically she, she rescues them. She fosters them. She takes them to the vet, gets them completely like fixed up if there's anything wrong with them. And then she finds like people to adopt them. So she does it completely off of donations. And I actually was in touch with her because I got a kitten.

And I was extremely allergic to it, like really, really bad. I was so sad. I cried a lot when I had to find it somewhere for her to go, but I found this girl, she took her in and fostered her and took her to the vet, did all the things. Um, so that's, it's just something that I think it's a really nice thing that she does.

And she's like a really cool person. And I feel like it's probably really hard to run a nonprofit based on only donations. So. Um, that's the one that I'm going to choose to shout out today. And the, she has an Instagram it's it's, uh, operation underscore liberation, and they have like a link in there where you can, um, Venmo or, or send money, however way you want.

But. Perfect. Perfect. Thank you. We will, we will share some of, some of that info for operational liberation. Uh, some of your handles where people can follow you. Uh, you were on Instagram at Jasmine XO, N O and Tech-Talk at, uh, at NAS min, June in, uh, so we'll play on words. So we'll, uh, we'll share that as well.

So, Jasmine, thank you so much for joining me. I really enjoyed this conversation. If you're in Colorado. Hit me up. We'll go skydiving, vice versa. If I'm in Florida, I'll hit you up. We'll we'll jump out of a plane together. Thank you for joining me. And, uh, I'm grateful for you and, uh, I wish you all the best.